Dissecting Hate

How can we determine what the best possible response to
a culture of hate will be?

We have anti-gay laws, we have unexpected homophobic
remarks accosting us in public, we get disowned by family,
there is threat of physical violence and vandalism....it's an
ongoing concern from every direction.

The world is changing so rapidly, from the economic front to
the political factionalizing to the growing number of hate groups.

We have new legislation passing--and being repealed--every
day and many cities/counties/states' laws are completely
contradictory to one another.

There isn't one set rule of thumb for handling ignorance, bias,
and hate actions, so how can we serve a unified response?
How can we teach people how to prepare and survive their
experiences with those who would see us harmed simply
because they think they can?

I sometimes wonder if giving attention and energy to hate
groups and talking heads doesn't embolden them. I'm sure
that it does, to an extent...but I'm not naive enough to think
you can simply let uncouth, hurtful words go undenounced,
nor inappropriate legislation go unchecked.

But at what point to we simply block out the negativity of
the masses and commit to living our own best life, designing
for ourselves and those we love an air of calm, loving, and
support?

If I could pass on one idea to the coming generations of
'differently attracted' kids, it would be to not let anyone
else instruct your inner landscape. Not church people, not
parents, not friends, not organizations. Each person has to
become grounded in their own personhood, and not merely
channeling others' strength.

It's hard, and it takes a lot of time, usually. But at the end of
it all, the most distinguished contribution anyone can make to
Hate is to not let it destroy their happiness or upend their life.

Living well really is the best revenge.

Maybe it's time we stopped getting quite so emotionally
wrapped up in all the horrible things that are said about us?

We can't cure stupid, and this earth will never be a paradise.
Maybe we can just become dedicated to our own inner Utopias...
and help others do the same.

******************************************

Keeping it simple

Much Love to
"Dear Abby" (Pauline Phillips)

who died last week at the age of 94.

The longtime pro-gay

advice columnist was once asked

her thoughts on the popularity of what

she did for a living, to which she replied

"People really just want to be heard."

Amen.

***

Break Those Bonds

The most insidious part of Homophobia and Hatred?

The hate, disgust, derision, and disrespect that spreads
like a sickness.....is a sickness they have spread to us.

The most important part of Homophobia, Hatred, and Lies?

We are not bound to it any longer...
and never have to be held down again.

We are Free...the moment we choose to stop listening...
and learn to love ourselves, as is.

**********************************************************

Fuck a Bully.

They won't teach you this in school, but...

LEARN to be LOUD!

LEARN to be PROUD!

LEARN to FIGHT BACK!

LEARN to STOP TAKING SHIT!

LEARN to DEFEND YOUR LIFE!

LEARN to ASK QUESTIONS!

You don't have to be born a fighter,

but you better LEARN to become one.

Whomever we to Love,

however we to Live,

we do choose to hide or to defy;

Do NOT Let Others Steal your Joy.

We can't make other people act right,

but we can always ACT UP

and say 'Enough is Enough.'

Value yourself and take a stand today.

***

Bronski Beat - "Smalltown Boy"

A real-life anthem from back in the day!

Sometimes music was the only outlet available to  young (or old!) people
coming to terms with self and discovering who they were. Dynamic, out,
proud, and inspirational, these folks cut across all the problems!

Bands like Bronski Beat, the Pet Shop Boys, Boy George, Morrissey
(The Smiths,) Richard Barone, Marc Almond, Dead of Alive, and the
like served a vital, life-saving mission for Family.

Even the visibility of (ridiculously) closeted folks like Marc Anthony,
George Michaels, Ricky Martin, and such (Girl, pleez...who you think
you was fooling!?!) and honorary gay groups like Depeche Mode and
Tears for Fears were of great assistance in the hard, dark days of the
Reagan-era AIDS-rampant 1980s.

And the day hasn't come when we don't need every bit of support we
can get. Enjoy.

***************************************************

With Great Thanks to PFLAG's founder, Jeanne Manford

Anyone who has read me or listened to me over the years knows

of the enormous love and respect I have for the group

PFLAG (Parents, Friends, Family of Lesbians & Gays.)

It is one of the single greatest resources for all people

in the LGBTQ community, and one of the most effective

means of changing hearts and minds in this terrible

world we find ourselves traipsing through.

The founder of this group--one woman, Jeanne Manford--

passed away this last week, and her story and heart

deserves to be related. 

Please check out Rachel Maddow (below) for the most

poignant and evocative, all-encompassing tribute I think

anyone could have managed. (Thank you, Rachel!)

And Thank You, Jeanne.

Rachel Maddow Eulogy for Jeanne Manford

For more info on the group, helpful information about

coping with being gay in a hateful world, and access to support

groups in your area, please check them out here

PFLAG official website

***

Bullshit Busters: Pledge of Refusal

I  PLEDGE

REFUSAL  TO
TOLERATE
HATE  OR
BULLYING

JUST  BECAUSE

IT  IS  WRAPPED  UP  IN

(Hiding Behind)

the  CHURCH,  the BIBLE,

so-called-CHRISTIANS, FREE

SPEECH, different OPINION,

Spiritual Belief, or

any other innocuous and misleading

mechanisms of excuse

that fanatics or equally-squirrelly

nuts wish to disingenuously promote.

***

Gonna Hate if They Can't Relate (Fuck 'em!)

In a small town, I am 'guilty' of being an outsider

by mere virtue of existence.

People hate and fear me because I exist.

They don't see me (us) as people, as human,

as individuals, as precious goods.

They see us through a veil of misguided fear,

hateful teachings, their parents' handed-down

generational confusion and bias, church-sponsored hate,

misinformed prejudices, self-hating hang-ups,

mind-numbing agendas, and other horseshit that I

am not responsible for burdening them with.

(Yet, we still bear the brunt.)

I am the cumulative threat--the Big Bad--

of a thousand Sunday school diatribes, decades

worth of social cues to distrust the homos, and

the imposed etiquette of purportedly appropriate

behavioral standards. Their ignorance made flesh,

though they are unaware of the divide

between assumption and reality...

that I exist beyond their small minds-eye.

I am not at fault or to blame

that these folks were never exposed

to any openly, proudly, unapologetically queer

folks, though their populace is filled to capacity

with shamed, closeted, and miserable brothers

and sisters of mine.

Others taught them--trained them well--in

fearing their own sexuality and the world

outside their door.

I swear I didn't tell them the lie that there

are no queers in their family tree, their current family,

or this town. That we are not an isolated nor

big city phenomenon.

I do wish there was a simple way to speed them past

all of their hangups and growth pains, but the only pill they

see in sight is me...and none of them dare put me in

their mouth and swallow!

***

Stay on your knees, Prayer-Boy!

" REAL  MEN  LOVE

WHOMEVER  THEY  WISH "

That's one thing you can get straight and

slap on a bumper sticker, bitches.

Cuz this one's about 2 seconds from

bitch-slapping a whole church fulla nut-jobs..

and that's a Promise you can KEEP!

***

Seussin' Out on a Q-Nug

Dr. Seuss was a gay old soul, with a super message
for family! (Pictured above; Miss Thing 1 and Miss
Thing 2.) Here's my version of some Seuss magic,
for kids young and old!

In case no one told you
let me be the first to say,
"It's okay to be you...
It's okay to be gay!"

To say what you feel,
to live life each day,
to not live in hiding,
to choose your own way,

No matter how many
grind you under their heel,
Being you's not just 'okay'
it's what makes you real!

When in the morning
while lifting your head,
before you've forgotten to
think different, instead,

When you open your eyes
and your dream's still alive,
and you feel in your heart
the passion to thrive...
before the world crashes in,
remember that start!

Before you're beat down
and choked by the 'rules,'
before conformity crushes
through churches and schools,

SAVE that special part
that lives deep within
Protect and aspire
and have your moment of Zen!
(No matter if those
who support you
number 'Zero'
or one-hundred and ten!)

Here's a hint and a clue--
beginning middle and end--
it works all the way through;

There are those who condemn others
cuz they can't accept them...
they're crazy and hurtful
and ungodly, too,
but it has absolutely nothing to do
with other people...
including you.

So say what you wish
and feel what you feel,
it's not just okay--
It's what makes you Real!

***

"Mambo Italiano" full movie

A very light and fluffy, romantic farce...kind of stereotypical flick (which
is sort of like saying Anne Coulter is 'kind of' a bitch!)

Still, another funny and sexy rom-com fantasy from the fiercely Gay '90s/
early 2000s!

Featuring Luke Kirby, Peter Miller, Paul Sorvino, and Ginette Reno,
this homey homo wet-dream-date fulfills the desires of most of us gay
dorks who think we could never get 'the hot guy.' (Or 'the guy we crushed
on as a kid.' Or 'a real cop.' And so on...)

Cute and funny...worth a look...hope you enjoy!

*****************************************************