What's all the Hooplah about?

(picture: "Strong Man" by Jing Jing Tsong)

It's a small town; everyone 'knows' everyone and

their business to start with. (Or, at least, they think

they do, which is even more insidious!)

But they smile to your face (sometimes) and stab you

in the back. Red-necks think two-facedness and inability

to communicate are resume' highlights; they're proud

of it.

So, everyone knows I'm homosexual, anyway.

And I'm not hiding who I am for anyone else's comfort level

anyway. (Which can make life difficult, but knowing up

front who's homophobic--or too scared to be friends with

you, despite their own differing sexuality--is a good litmus

test for who's worth hanging out with.)

But anyone who doesn't already know me can tell the minute

I open my mouth. Because as 'butch' as I may appear to some,

there are 'tells' here in the South. And the astute gossip/

worry-wart has already checked out your ring finger, your

gait, your hairstyle, your clothes, and your hand movements

long before they ever address you! It is JUST that important

to these sick bastards what is going on with everyone else!

People call me "Ma'am" all the time, unintentionally. They

are always embarrassed by having done it--or their kids having

done it--because they see it as a problem that they let it slip

how they really feel about me/gays in general.

(Which is to say that they equate being gay with not being a

real man, but being a woman. That is how people interpret it

around here. But it let's you know that they are not oblivious,

even though they avoid talking about it to your face (since

there is a stigma behind being open about who you are.)

That right there--knowing, or even SUSPECTING-- that I am

a homosexual--is grounds for people to hate my guts, think I

ought not be working for/representing "their" government,

want me dead, want me unemployed, want me shut up, etc.

The Census caving in to this ignorance is legitimizing the

ignorance. It allows it, rationalizes it, and justifies it. It's always

easier to roll over and let injustice happen. Much easier than it

is to do the right thing.

People were uncomfortable? Really? And? How did the

idea that someone is different than they are destroy their

world? If people are so uniformly incapable of existing in a

world that doesn't mirror their image or needs perfectly, then

they had problems going before little Robbie showed up.

Most people are MAD because the Census is a cluster-fug

boondoggle to the Nth degree.

They're mad at ANYONE coming on their property

uninvited.

They're mad at the government right now, anyway.

They're mad about the economy.

They're mad about oil spills.

They're mad about hot weather.

They're mad about being asked to answer questions they

already answered and someone incompetently lost.

They're mad about divorces and bunions and STDs and

disobedient children.

But nobody reallllllly cares that someone is gay. It's just

another scapegoat...a dog to kick because they can't wrap

their hands around their desired target. I'm easy.

Let's blow through the smokescreen and discuss what's

really happening here in this web of lies and discrimination.

I will tell that the Emperor has no clothes, no matter how

many numb nuts want to maintain the pretense that he's

really wearing the most beautiful adornments ever crafted.

It's just the way I'm built;

Just like my wonderful sexuality, God granted me the inability

to suffer BULLSHIT lightly.

I have no propensity for building a deception.

I am a Truth Seeker, Truth Speaker, Artifice Buster, and

Bullshit Detector.

I do not depend on righteous action from the world;

I know where righteousness lay.....and I will see justice done,

come what may.

WHY?

It's probably the most common response.


"WHY would you choose to put a bunch of
stickers on your vehicle?"

Visibility brings recognition, which brings
thought, which brings dialogue. Hopefully
then there can be understanding, compassion
and acceptance.

But, I also saw a need to reach out to the
largest segment of the gay and lesbian
population; closeted middle America.

Most gay men and women are not on the
streets protesting and being outspoken.
The vast majority live very quiet lives,
keeping to themselves and some never
even acting on their desires.

They have spouses and families and are
terrified of someone finding out about
who they are on the inside. The old
numbers of gays being about 10% of the
population were very conservative
estimates, in my book.

People attracted to the same sex are in
every family, every town, every state.

Every race, every age, every economic
status. Every political party (as these
last months have shown) and every religion.

Sexuality has nothing to do with spirituality
or drugs or mental illness, as some myths
have promoted (and are still strong in
small towns like Donalsonville.)

If people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual,
questioning, confused, trans, queer feel
that they are the only one who feels the
way that they do, they are likely to
suffer from depression, loneliness, and
isolation. People need to feel connected.
They need to know that someone else
understands what they feel and who they
are.

There is not one particular way to live.

If your sexuality is 'different' from what
the mainstream calls normal, you can live
any kind of life you want.

Many men could not exist without the
stability and love of their homes they have
built. They may choose not to act on their
emotions or desires, but having someone to
relate to their feelings is crucial to good
mental health. Knowing they are not alone
is a powerful medicine.

You can live as a gay couple but keep to
yourself. You can live as a single man and
drive to the big city to find companionship.

There are those who live double lives.
Some are flamboyant, some are butch, some
are just regular folks. There isn't a litmus
test for determining.

The point is not "How to figure out who's gay
and who isn't?" The point is "Why does
everybody feel the need to be up in everyone
else's business?"

So, confusing as it may be, I push the
envelope so that the idea of people's normal
expressions of sexuality are less threatening.

The more people know, the less they fear (in time.)

Having someone live outside the lines gives
a little more leeway to everyone else. If the
boundaries are pushed, minds expand. The
crazy emotions and animosity is right there, under
the surface anyway.

I'm not necessarily looking to be understood.

I'm just filling the role God gave me.
Like Dr. King said..."Men fear what they do not
understand..."

I refuse to keep the silence... or my designated
seat at the back of the bus.