Family Album: Our Shared History

James Baldwin, 1924-1987

Family Album: Our Shared History

We Have Always Loved

Pay A Lot of Attention to the Men Behind the Curtain

Just to dispense with a pretense that may be held by newly out or
younger people who find themselves pursuing a place in the 'gay
community;' There really is not such a beast in existence.

Sure, there are a couple thousand devoted, hard-working, insightful
folks of all races, age, beliefs who represent all the rainbow of queer
and are looking out for equality for everyone. And then there are
several million noxious, self-serving, addicted, bar-hopping body nazis
who are as shallow as the day is long. The latter's objectives include
being catty and getting their dicks sucked.

I'm aware of the horror stories of growing up gay that produce such
people, but there are times when you have to deal with bottom lines,
and everybody has a sob-story, sister!

Just like in the 'real world,' there are good and bad aspects in everyone,
and frankly because of the damage we suffer in life, our group has more
than its fair share of damaged goods, and not a lot in place to make sure
that those basic needs are being addressed.

There's a lot of division, a lot of factionalism, a lot of marginalization.
A lot of lacking promotion of safe sex, of emotionally-healthy sex, of
mutual respect. The emphasis is on fun and abandon and consumerism
and a market, rather than community-building, shared interests, and
coalition-building. Politics and social reform are an after-thought to many.


The Transport Group Theatre Company does the classic "Boys in the Band"

Pretending it's a perfect party, for the presentation to the outside world,
may seem like a unified show of support, but it keeps the necessary changes
and developments from taking place. Criticism allows for transformation.

And casting the spell of one big happy family just sets the new guys up
for a fall. And let's face it; the new guys' best interests are not at the heart
of most of the selfish agendas I see.

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My Gift to the Gay-Bashers

Never let it be said that this Daddy isn't a generous

sum-bitch. I have a real need to dole out some

truth, not to mention an extra-special gift for the

homophobes of the world!

It's grown quite tiresome this past year to listen and

watch as homophobes big and small make the most

outlandish of anti-gay remarks, only to issue an

apology days later at the bequest of managers or

P.R. folks or, sometimes-- it seems-- just to piss on us

twice as their insincerity shines through.

Look, if you all must be pricks, just keep it to

yourselves. If you can't, then own it and stop being

pussies. Bigotry, ignorance, and fanatical, oppressive

religious views are nothing new in this country, and we

know what they look and sound like.

Quit being double-assholes by making your

ridiculous, hurtful, self-important proclamations

(or tweets, facebook status updates, commentaries, etc.)

and, then, insulting our intelligence with a half-hearted

compulsory bullshit apology.

The damage you do to the hurting and young

is insurmountable. It isn't cute, and even though the

world treats your nasty remarks as insignificant, they aren't.

If you have something hateful to say, write it down on

a piece of paper, hold it in your teeth, and deposit it

in my 'suggestion box' while you

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The Spark

"...But isn't that because we all feel so important and have no idea
what to do? We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is
possible. And I don't think I'm that person. I may have been a
catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with convic-
tion, and I'm barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching
courage, and I'm still working hard at even finding mine. Someone
with clear and persuasive words, and I'm so easily tongue-tied."

-Katniss Everdeen, in "Catching Fire," second book in the
 Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins

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I thought this was an especially inspirational passage, showcasing
how even those in the most demanding of positions can find them-
selves questioning, struggling, doubting.

Going against the grain...standing up to The Powers That Be....
taking a stand for what's right...these take tremendous resolve and
courage, and it's a constant choice. It isn't some naturally fearless
drive that overrides all obstacles instantly.

It's work...hard work.  And like anything worth doing, there are
prices to be paid.

Hell, just living our lives as gay men and lesbian women....as a
transitioning transgendered man or woman....as a young person
questioning or an older person hiding...we have a fight every day
of our lives. With losses, discrimination, fears, being alone in a
crowd.

It takes a warrior to live life, period. It takes an exceptional
warrior to fight for life as a person with LGBTQ affiliations.
Recognize that feeling defeated can be a part of the journey,
but feeling it is not a sign of weakness--merely humanity. We
just don't give in.

We have to handle so much more than others; let's recognize
the strength it has taken to get this far, and know that we are
strong enough to continue, come what may.

Peace.

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Unnecessary Torture: We Hold The Key

I have seen so many people struggling with self-acceptance
over the years. The idea of living a complete life while wholly
accepting their sexuality and identity is a foreign concept to
many folks.


It is foolish to think that everyone will become an activist, or
be open about themselves across the world. Too many places
hold tightly to old ways and backwards, repressive notions.


And I don't think most activists do have that idea in their
head; a world where every LGBT person is out for the world
to see. I can't make the oppressiveness and hate change,
but I can try to help people choose to be free and comfy in
their own shoes, whatever their level of 'out-ness' may be.

To be comfortable in their own skins and love themselves.

In small towns, in religious families, in small countries, many
will never know the freedom of living their life completely for
themselves. Being a half-hearted part of a broken whole is
more significant to them than being a complete individual.
It takes time to break from the pack and live for self.


When I watched the movie J. Edgar this weekend, it broke my heart.


I was reminded of all the hurting people I've known over the
years who lived half a life, condemning themselves and turning
away from their feelings, in pointless attempts to please and
appease other people.

Leonardo DiCaprio's performance (pinpointing the truths of
Mr. Black's brilliant script) was phenomenal with the redirected
energies, culminating as they always seem to do, in self-destructive
behavior and extending the repressive hate to others.

There are all kinds of lives, all levels of self-acceptance, every
kind of gay person.


But self-love cannot ever be wrong, no matter how much it
scares other people....(most of whom, quite evidently it would
seem, are scared and angry from not loving themselves.)


Second class citizenship is not acceptable, even if many of us
have been shamed and trained to believe otherwise.

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Tragedy

"I feel sorry for him. I think it's really sad.

What a tragic character. He's tragic.

People like Ted Haggard - that's tragic.

Or Mark Foley. These are living tragedies.

They're people who want to be part of a

society that does not want them, and so

they're willing to be secretive about their

sexuality and hide who they are, and really

who they are is not bad, it's not criminal at all.

But it drives them to sort of criminalizing acts.

It's really sad."

- Margaret Cho on disgraced Senator Larry Craig.

***



OUTRAGE

I think this election year is a perfect time to remind folks about
this incredibly revealing documentary, even though it's only the
tip of the iceberg.

Closeted politicians make for dire enemies. End the charade now.

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Rock Bottom: Gay Men & Meth

The direness of this addiction can't be overstated.

Countless counselors list it as the most addictive substance they've seen.

The community at large has about Zero interest in helping drug addicts,
and even less with addressing the needs of gay addicts.

Increasingly, the double whammy of meth is not only the horrific effects
of the addiction and usage, but that under the influence of the drug,
unsafe sex is occurring more frequently, adding to spread of disease.

We have to take care of ourselves and one another; no one else is going
to do it for us. Please share this video with anyone you know who has tried,
or is likely to try meth.

Meth Project (More information)

Treatment

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