What Lies Beneath: Gore Vidal, 1925-2012

Gore Vidal passed away recently.

It's been a bad time for the entertainment and arts industries

all the way around, considering losses.

But, Vidal had a long, prosperous, and effective life

and career, and that's the best thing you can

say when someone has ceased breath.

If you were not aware, Vidal was a longtime,

preeminent writer, contrarian, essayist,

and (in a fashion,) activist.

His first novel was published in 1946, when

Gore was only 20 years old, and in some capacity

or another he continued to be prominent and

vocal ever since.

His third novel, "The City and the Pillar," was one

that revolutionized the public idea of homosexuality, set off

a firestorm of controversy, and cemented Vidal in

the public mind as two things; a great writer who

did not avoid controversy, and someone who would

never gain public office in his lifetime.

Vidal was one of only a handful, really, of 'openly

gay' writers (given the disproportionately high

number of writers who are gay!) in a time

when writing was still a talent, a calling, an esteemed

profession, a distinguished and noble path.

Back when evidence of one's orientation was

not openly discussed, even in fields such

as theatre, literary circles, and celluloid.

Vidal had a notion of homosexuality that reflected the

times he grew up in, despite his outspokenness

and courage. The one thing I will always recall

is how he articulated the final days of his partner

of 50 years, Howard Austen, in his memoirs

("Point to Point Navigation") where Vidal plainly

states that he kissed Howard on the lips as he lay on

what was to become his deathbed, and this was the first

time he had ever done so.

Fifty years of companionship and love, and even

in the privacy of their home, the two never

gave the most intimate reflection of devotion

or affection.

This man who crusaded, broke barriers, dared to

speak freely, who told mostly-all....and even he

was still a made man, unable to fully embrace his

true self.

This is the nature of what the world does to us;

building cages that we carry around ourselves.

Vidal had a view of homosexuality not as identity,

but based on actions. In ways, I agree with such a fluid,

more easily-promoted view....but I question the

validity of parts of it. It doesn't diminish his impact

to say that this seems a rather disingenuous claim

by someone trying to assert his 'normalcy' a

bit too loudly perhaps. Someone immersed in disconnect.

In the entire world wide web, I could not find one

picture of the two men, partners for some five decades,

together as a couple.

That isn't coincidence.

It's condemnation of a world that has failed to move

forward, and our complicity in those transgressions.

Official Gore Vidal Website

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Out of the Frying Pan....

 

Coming out may end up being the easiest part!

Learning to release from the bonds and demands of a society
that rewards compliance (and assaults individuality or difference
of any sort) takes much courage.

Generally, growing and maturing requires escaping the clutches
of the regimented and puritanical smaller towns (resistant to change
and exploration, filled with overly possessive and controlling families.)

And yet we can find ourselves--those of us escaping repressiveness
and depression and leading into an adult world where we are free
to discover our true selves--becoming heady from our new freedom.
But not all is well in Camelot! 

Is there any difference between one brand of conformity and another?

Finding acceptance and developing an ability to freely and safely
express one's inner self is very exciting, and adding to that experience
of--at long last--a sense of belonging and acceptance, when we add
the thrill of another's touch, a deep and intimate kiss, the release of
years of repressed sexuality...well, we can find ourselves not quite in
possession of our faculties any longer.

We may even be reluctant to admit (defensive, perhaps) that there are
caveats demanding new loyalties and concessions from our new comrades.
Things we miss seeing at first, in our euphoria, or perhaps are willing to
overlook due to our desire to finally be included.

The gay 'subculture' (at least on a social level) has an expected
accommodation of partying excesses, substance abuse, bitchiness,
gossiping, ageism, sexism, body worship and other nihilistic self-defeating
outrageous behaviors, including a disregard for safe-sex practices.

Straights aren't the only ones bullying us;
often we are cruelest to our own.

So enthralled by being a part of something--seeing an aspect of our-
selves reflected back at us, instead of hiding our real self--being free of
condemnation...it's very intoxicating!

We might accommodate this new life by emulating those we have grafted
onto; become a body Nazi, drift into more experimental or aggressive drugs,
and other self-hating activities that pass for gay culture.

Like all oppressed people that find a measure of freedom, gay men 
have a deep need to feel superior once they finally find their voice. And
the best means of feeling 'superior' is to be merciless cutting down others.

Toned bodies and tans aren't the most important
thing about our fellow queers; expand your interests.

Guard yourself carefully. Try to refrain from jumping from one prison
to another. Realize that you can always make a change in your friends
and surroundings. This pressure to assimilate pervades every clique and
subculture; it isn't particular to the gay community. Just because your first
foray doesn't meet your expectations doesn't mean future ones won't.

Being yourself is really the only game in town, no matter who it is that's
expecting you to change to be part of their pack.

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