Bullshit Busters: Pledge of Refusal

I  PLEDGE

REFUSAL  TO
TOLERATE
HATE  OR
BULLYING

JUST  BECAUSE

IT  IS  WRAPPED  UP  IN

(Hiding Behind)

the  CHURCH,  the BIBLE,

so-called-CHRISTIANS, FREE

SPEECH, different OPINION,

Spiritual Belief, or

any other innocuous and misleading

mechanisms of excuse

that fanatics or equally-squirrelly

nuts wish to disingenuously promote.

***

Out of the Frying Pan....

 

Coming out may end up being the easiest part!

Learning to release from the bonds and demands of a society
that rewards compliance (and assaults individuality or difference
of any sort) takes much courage.

Generally, growing and maturing requires escaping the clutches
of the regimented and puritanical smaller towns (resistant to change
and exploration, filled with overly possessive and controlling families.)

And yet we can find ourselves--those of us escaping repressiveness
and depression and leading into an adult world where we are free
to discover our true selves--becoming heady from our new freedom.
But not all is well in Camelot! 

Is there any difference between one brand of conformity and another?

Finding acceptance and developing an ability to freely and safely
express one's inner self is very exciting, and adding to that experience
of--at long last--a sense of belonging and acceptance, when we add
the thrill of another's touch, a deep and intimate kiss, the release of
years of repressed sexuality...well, we can find ourselves not quite in
possession of our faculties any longer.

We may even be reluctant to admit (defensive, perhaps) that there are
caveats demanding new loyalties and concessions from our new comrades.
Things we miss seeing at first, in our euphoria, or perhaps are willing to
overlook due to our desire to finally be included.

The gay 'subculture' (at least on a social level) has an expected
accommodation of partying excesses, substance abuse, bitchiness,
gossiping, ageism, sexism, body worship and other nihilistic self-defeating
outrageous behaviors, including a disregard for safe-sex practices.

Straights aren't the only ones bullying us;
often we are cruelest to our own.

So enthralled by being a part of something--seeing an aspect of our-
selves reflected back at us, instead of hiding our real self--being free of
condemnation...it's very intoxicating!

We might accommodate this new life by emulating those we have grafted
onto; become a body Nazi, drift into more experimental or aggressive drugs,
and other self-hating activities that pass for gay culture.

Like all oppressed people that find a measure of freedom, gay men 
have a deep need to feel superior once they finally find their voice. And
the best means of feeling 'superior' is to be merciless cutting down others.

Toned bodies and tans aren't the most important
thing about our fellow queers; expand your interests.

Guard yourself carefully. Try to refrain from jumping from one prison
to another. Realize that you can always make a change in your friends
and surroundings. This pressure to assimilate pervades every clique and
subculture; it isn't particular to the gay community. Just because your first
foray doesn't meet your expectations doesn't mean future ones won't.

Being yourself is really the only game in town, no matter who it is that's
expecting you to change to be part of their pack.

******************************************************

Blackboard Jungle, Revisited

Removing homophobia from the classroom

couldn't be a simpler concept;

implementing it has turned into

quite the quagmire, however.

As church and state must be separated,

so too must religious intolerance

be completely removed from the classroom.

And bias based on religious-teachings is just that;

immoral, inappropriare, illegal abuse.

Schools which are private and/or

religion-based institutions should not

be exempt from these standards.

If a school of any type takes subsidies,

state funding, government grants, or

receives tax-exempt status, they have

an obligation to leave bias out of their teachings

and policies. Otherwise, they are using

federal and other government monies to

promote hate speech and a second-class

citizenry.

As stewards for future generations,

those schools owe their students a

safe and welcoming place to be themselves.

A child being young enough and

'powerless' enough in the eyes of the law

should not be grounds for dismissing their needs.

***

The Gay-Straight Alliance Network

***

Heart Strong: Outreach & Support for LGBTs in religious schools

***

Southern Poverty Law Center; Debunking Anti-Gay Myths

***

Kid Power: Bullying & Homophobia Information

***

Petition to Enforce LGBT Protection in Schools

****

Let's Stop Pretending

"Should gay kids be controllable saps who make good doormats, expected to silently endure shit and not respond in kind?
The Hell you say!!!"

Let's stop pretending that being nice and calm gets equal
treatment in return.


The only message a bully understands is that his or her
target is no longer going to be victimized by them.


We MUST teach our youth to defend themselves on every
level. Obviously, even with support, these times are tough,
and take a physical and emotional toll on kids already
dealing with the stresses of being a teenager.


Even the biggest sissy or flamboyant queen can--and
should--learn to protect and defend themselves. There
are judo and karate and tae kwon do classes in many small
communities. There are boxing rings and tracks. There are gyms
and online classes, instructional videos, tutorials.


But even before we get to this point, how do we change
the inner emotional landscape? Because it's the programming
we have inside that has kept us submissive, passive, and weak.


We have generations of gays, lesbians, bi, trans folks
who have been systematically trained and conditioned
in every area of their lives to believe that they have nothing
to offer the world. That we are sub-par people, even. In
many circles, the argument extends to our being evil or ungodly.
And this message is delivered covertly and overtly in a variety
of ways every single day. This political season is proving
especially harmful with all the deceit and hate being bandied
about for the sake of ill-gotten votes.

Having rejected religion and its false gods as ridiculous
superstition and supernatural conjecture, these myths
have no sway over me. But for many who are embedded in
a religious family or a church, where religion and 'belief' is
a lifestyle of fanatical observance, these promotions are
harmful indeed. These notions are looked on as 'fact' rather
than opinion. Science and common sense matter very little
to someone who is having their thinking done for them.


We must address the esteem issue, and where it originates.
The lack of connectedness is a real and damaging problem.
At the fragile stages of not being fully developed in self or in
standing up for self or having had enough chances to strengthen
confidence and competence, the overwhelmingly negative images
and ideas that bombard these kids serve to erode the newly
blooming self-love.

Add to this that we are all bashed and broken from birth to
defer to the authority of a particular place or system, so if we
are not being protected in a school, church, family, we feel
powerless and without the 'right' to assert protection on our own.
Furthermore, the complicitness of authority to allow our abuse
sends a signal that we aren't worth protecting. Nothing could be
further from the truth. The lacking of public officials highlights
their incompetence and shame, not ours.

We have to teach them to know and love and embrace
themselves fully, so that they know they are worth protecting.
They must overcome the intimidation of a world and its
oppressors that promote the falsehood of gay people being
'lesser.'

Let's stop pretending that there isn't a double standard in place.
Bullies--jackasses, violent people, poor communicators, scum,
religious terrorists, etc--seem to get a free pass in society because
people are either afraid of them or don't know what to do with
them, or both. But the rest of us, already the subject of a bully's 
taunts and harassment, are expected to take up the slack and
be the 'bigger' people. The good guys are expected to tolerate
and endure and smile sweetly and make a nice doormat while,
at best, fingers are wagged and empty scoldings are leveled at
bullies.

This is the way it has been for some time. There is a sense of
avoiding the reality of the hierarchy of the world; that might
does in fact tend to make right. (But let a 'victim' lash out or
fight back, defending themselves; then all holy Hell breaks
loose!) Why is it that it becomes acceptable with repetition
for a bully to do certain actions, and people become resigned
to it and even apologist for it, but a defensive strike against
these very actions draws excited fury? Like I said; double
standards, hypocrisy, unfairness.

Here's a tough pill; the world is full of those things. It's the
nature of the beast. But we still have to fight the battle.
We still have to take the battle to them. Zero tolerance
policies are important. Education and advocacy and
outreach are important. But the real battles are within.

However, Will Rogers said it so well;
"You can't legislate intelligence and common sense."

So we bear down and accept that the world can suck
and be unfair; and we recognize that we MORE than have
a right to be alive in it.  We MORE than have a right to live
well and be treated well. We have to aggressively learn a
better defense; think outside the box, stop passively awaiting
help to come from outside sources. Our hero is within. It
always has been...we just weren't taught that.

Stop striking in. Throw off the shackles;
Embrace your greatness, refute the lies.
Know your power.
You can do this.

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