Gay Film: "Beautiful Thing"

Bronski Beat - "Smalltown Boy"

A real-life anthem from back in the day!

Sometimes music was the only outlet available to  young (or old!) people
coming to terms with self and discovering who they were. Dynamic, out,
proud, and inspirational, these folks cut across all the problems!

Bands like Bronski Beat, the Pet Shop Boys, Boy George, Morrissey
(The Smiths,) Richard Barone, Marc Almond, Dead of Alive, and the
like served a vital, life-saving mission for Family.

Even the visibility of (ridiculously) closeted folks like Marc Anthony,
George Michaels, Ricky Martin, and such (Girl, pleez...who you think
you was fooling!?!) and honorary gay groups like Depeche Mode and
Tears for Fears were of great assistance in the hard, dark days of the
Reagan-era AIDS-rampant 1980s.

And the day hasn't come when we don't need every bit of support we
can get. Enjoy.

***************************************************

With Great Thanks to PFLAG's founder, Jeanne Manford

Anyone who has read me or listened to me over the years knows

of the enormous love and respect I have for the group

PFLAG (Parents, Friends, Family of Lesbians & Gays.)

It is one of the single greatest resources for all people

in the LGBTQ community, and one of the most effective

means of changing hearts and minds in this terrible

world we find ourselves traipsing through.

The founder of this group--one woman, Jeanne Manford--

passed away this last week, and her story and heart

deserves to be related. 

Please check out Rachel Maddow (below) for the most

poignant and evocative, all-encompassing tribute I think

anyone could have managed. (Thank you, Rachel!)

And Thank You, Jeanne.

Rachel Maddow Eulogy for Jeanne Manford

For more info on the group, helpful information about

coping with being gay in a hateful world, and access to support

groups in your area, please check them out here

PFLAG official website

***

"Shelter" (full movie)

Great film that shows a sweet and sincere real-life relationship blooming
as one man is recuperating from a break-up and another is fighting his
own feelings as he struggles with his sexuality and place in life.

Great insights into family, growing up, coming out, and self-acceptance
in this superb 'smaller' film featuring the (praises!) often-shirtless Brad
Rowe and Trevor Wright!

*************************************************

"Christopher And His Kind" (full film)

I love a good biopic, and seeing the history of gays and lesbians through the
eyes of someone who came up (and out) in another time is truly revelatory.

And hey--you can't knock homoerotic scenes of young men wrestling and
fooling around!

Doctor Who fans rejoice!

*****************************************************

Ray Boltz: "God Knows I Tried"

Regulars know I hold little regard for religion as it offers far more harm than help.

In that vein, I realize that due to the insanity of religion, many people of LGBT
origin/makeup have had horrible times coming to terms with their identity.
Here's the song for you.

The slowly appearing text in the 'video' is a bit annoying, but the message of
coming to grips with one's sexuality over many painful years is handled honestly
and aptly, and the further personal message in the type is worth reading.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

*****************************************************

"Touch of Pink"

"Touch of Pink" is a 2004 dramedy/romance featuring the smoking-hot
Jimi Mistry, and an odd narrator! It's pretty light, but has its moments.
Some good popcorn-fare and soul food for the start of another lonnnnng
week in election year!

It's too damned HOT to be outside, people!

***************************************************

"Beautiful Thing"...complete movie

Of all the great 1990s push of gay-friendly films, this is by far one of
my favorites!

Touching, funny, poignant, and personal in a way that transports you
back to your own first urgings in a real and powerful way.

Brilliantly blended to give a realistic yet sympathetic view, and so
effortless in delivery that you forget you're watching a film!

Out of the Frying Pan....

 

Coming out may end up being the easiest part!

Learning to release from the bonds and demands of a society
that rewards compliance (and assaults individuality or difference
of any sort) takes much courage.

Generally, growing and maturing requires escaping the clutches
of the regimented and puritanical smaller towns (resistant to change
and exploration, filled with overly possessive and controlling families.)

And yet we can find ourselves--those of us escaping repressiveness
and depression and leading into an adult world where we are free
to discover our true selves--becoming heady from our new freedom.
But not all is well in Camelot! 

Is there any difference between one brand of conformity and another?

Finding acceptance and developing an ability to freely and safely
express one's inner self is very exciting, and adding to that experience
of--at long last--a sense of belonging and acceptance, when we add
the thrill of another's touch, a deep and intimate kiss, the release of
years of repressed sexuality...well, we can find ourselves not quite in
possession of our faculties any longer.

We may even be reluctant to admit (defensive, perhaps) that there are
caveats demanding new loyalties and concessions from our new comrades.
Things we miss seeing at first, in our euphoria, or perhaps are willing to
overlook due to our desire to finally be included.

The gay 'subculture' (at least on a social level) has an expected
accommodation of partying excesses, substance abuse, bitchiness,
gossiping, ageism, sexism, body worship and other nihilistic self-defeating
outrageous behaviors, including a disregard for safe-sex practices.

Straights aren't the only ones bullying us;
often we are cruelest to our own.

So enthralled by being a part of something--seeing an aspect of our-
selves reflected back at us, instead of hiding our real self--being free of
condemnation...it's very intoxicating!

We might accommodate this new life by emulating those we have grafted
onto; become a body Nazi, drift into more experimental or aggressive drugs,
and other self-hating activities that pass for gay culture.

Like all oppressed people that find a measure of freedom, gay men 
have a deep need to feel superior once they finally find their voice. And
the best means of feeling 'superior' is to be merciless cutting down others.

Toned bodies and tans aren't the most important
thing about our fellow queers; expand your interests.

Guard yourself carefully. Try to refrain from jumping from one prison
to another. Realize that you can always make a change in your friends
and surroundings. This pressure to assimilate pervades every clique and
subculture; it isn't particular to the gay community. Just because your first
foray doesn't meet your expectations doesn't mean future ones won't.

Being yourself is really the only game in town, no matter who it is that's
expecting you to change to be part of their pack.

******************************************************

Truth

Here's a newsflash for all you folks,

kids and oldsters alike;

There's nothing wrong with you.

'Religious' folks do now what they

have always done;

they seek those whom they can prey on,

and pretend to pray for them.

They want control over others because they

can't control themselves.

They see the world in stark, sad, scary terms

and want others to do the same.

It causes not bit of lost sleep for the

folks who run the 'reparative therapy'

centers or 'Pray away the gay' groups

to know that they have caused irreparable damage

to untold numbers of people...

making them fear their own feelings

and feel shame and disgust for

themselves.

All in the name of a supposedly

loving deity.

As long as they can get folks to suppress their spirits

and deny their feelings, they're happy.

As long as the illusion and lie of

being 'like everyone else' is present,

the heartbreak and misery and

self-hate and denial that it takes to

achieve said lies are acceptable.

Conservative estimates say 10%

of the population is homosexual.

(I say it's much greater...I have seen

way too many people through the years!)

That means roughly 700,000,000 people

are currently queer.

What exactly do the people behind

trying to turn away from their real

selves gain by torturing 700 million

people on the planet?

Might be time to find out.

***

Grateful

I'm tremendously fortunate, and sometimes as a result of what I have been
privileged to have, I am quite unaware of the depth of what's been received.

I grew up a fairly typical, middle-class country boy in a suburb, in a small
town in Florida. But, my saving grace was that I was close enough to a large
metropolitan city, Tampa, and went to school and cultivated interests based
out of there.

Growing up gay was still difficult; there was a dearth of positive gay images
or information in the late 1970s, early 1980s, and it really wasn't talked
about at all in daily conversation. Yet, everyone knew the shame that was
to be attached to the dreaded "F" word whenever it was used to punctuate
contempt and end social standing.

But as time went on, I met people. I found out about the original "Tomes
& Treasures" LGBT bookstore in Tampa. I attended the GLC at USF
(that's all it was then--a Gay-Lesbian Coalition. Come to think of it, the
debate to make it 'Lesbian' inclusive may have taken place while I was
there!) A friend at school had a dad who had just come out as gay, and
books were lent. I had parents that were both oblivious and hands-off.
A pro-gay therapist was found by my loving grandmother.
I fooled around with a school friend, discovering heaven.
I had a boyfriend.

I had advantages that many never have.

Now that I have spent some 10 years living in a truly isolated, inclusive,
tiny southern town in Georgia, I have seen an entirely different side of life.
Folks here grow up with limited choices, limited access to information,
complete societal domination by the church, and a goodly distance to
drive to get to anything positive--bookstore, social group, church, bar, or
campus--that is open to them.

People here grow up completely terrified of someone finding out who
they are, or what they think. There is virtually no visibility here for
someone who is openly gay or content. Most who come to terms
move far away and never return.

Some decide that chastity is their cross to bear, and saddle up for an
uncompromisingly martyred life. Others contort their psyche into a
split, living one way for their friends and neighbors, and another on
business trips or, quite dangerously, on the down low in town.

The welcoming and nurturing cocoon of a real community....of options
and alternatives and, most importantly, the positive mirroring of what
it means to love yourself, are not available to these folks.

I can't imagine what it must feel like to have been raised and
shaped by such a world, and I'm thankful that I can't. But I do have
immense compassion and empathy for those who have.

I don't expect everyone to come out. Such blind idealism is great for
speeches, but not the real world. I wish I could craft a better environs
for all my brothers and sisters...to provide for them what I had the
great fortune to have available to me. I wish this were a better world.

But I have to settle for hoping that folks like those here in rural
Donalsonville know now, thanks to the Internet and TV visibility and
more open people than ever before, some basic truths.
Like the fact that they are perfect as they are.
Or that their feelings are valid.
And they are not alone.
That it's never to late to learn to love and accept yourself, as you are.
That you have a right to live free and pursue your desires.
That life is worth living, wherever you are and however you find yourself.
That in order for others to know and love you, first you have to do it.

Don't accept anyone else's limits or condemnations; life is far too short.

I never knew how much greatness I had been exposed to until I met
folks who had lived in relative darkness and gone without. It's never
too late.

***********************************************************
(This may all be dismissed as condescending clap-trap by my local peeps,
wondering "Who does this guy think he is?" and asserting that there's
nothing wrong with how they live. The slave is always taught to have deep
love for the master, and to avoid the very thing they most need and want.
Que sera, sera.)
************************************************************