University-Sponsored Hate

(FROM THE HEARTSTRONG OCTOBER NEWSLETTER)

EDUCATION/OUTREACH UPDATE

*The best way to stay up-to-date on HeartStrong's work.
*University of Arizona's Daily Wildcat publishes hateful cartoon

Like the Notre Dame cartoon of 2010 this new cartoon published
by the University of Arizona's Arizona Daily Wildcat shows just
how far we haven't come.

HeartStrong's Youth Empowerment Project is about providing
anti-bullying materials to school counselors and students. In our
battle to save lives you should all know what this university's
newspaper editor thinks is funny.

Parent's HAVE killed their kids if they think they are gay.
This is not a joke.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/07/08/992721/-Horrifying-4-Year-Old-Boy-Murdered-for-Acting-Gay

It's easy to forget that it wasn't too long ago that 30 Rock star Tracy
Morgan said, "Gays need to quit being pussies and not be whining about
something as insignificant as bullying." He added, "Gay is something
that kids learn from the media and programming." When talking about
the possibility of his son being gay - Tracy said he "better talk to me
like a man and not in a gay voice or I'll pull out a knife and stab that
little nigger to death."

We think we can convince young men and women that it gets better.
We think we can prove to them that coming out is about gaining, not
about losing. We think we can help them find the path to a life of hope,
love and peace.

And then they have to see this. This is not a reprint of an old cartoon.
This is a new creation.

HeartStrong has made it's voice known in this issue. Some are calling
on the paper to fire the editor who admits she approved this cartoon.
More than that, even more must be done to help GLBT youth find their way.

Just when we think we are getting places in our own efforts to reach
students, things like this happen and bring us back down to reality.
So many young GLBT men and women around the world are subjected
to this type of language in their homes, in the religious spaces and in
their schools.

The burden to alleviate as much of that fear and shame as possible is
great. We believe that we have a responsibility to those who would be
negatively affected by this type of language to extend our reach even
further.

HeartStrong Support for LGBTQ Youth

********************************************************
An added bit by Georgia Unity:

It was also not long ago that the human filth Ann Coulter made a few horrifying
remarks about gay people. (Yes, it's a longtime trend for her, and she is such a
wretched train wreck it galls me to mention her name, but the attention-whore
is hurting people with every utterance.)

She has said that she thinks gays should become pro-life because liberals
would start aborting fetuses if a gay gene were discovered.....she tweeted
just last weekend that since the prior Thursday was National Coming Out Day,
the following Monday should be 'National Disown Your (Gay) Son' Day.....
she defended Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy's anti-gay stance.....she
defended Carl Paladino's anti-gay comments and minimized them....on the Joy
Behar show she said she was "sick of gays" and that she though ex-gay therapy
worked.....and once remarked that if her child came out to her, she would tell
him that he was adopted (although she would more likely drown him in the tub
and then dispose of the body.)

The world is full of putrid human beings who don't care and who bask in their
ignorance and apathy. They even get high off of causing other people pain and
upset; they aren't oblivious to it. That's what a sociopath is.

***********************************************************
By the by, here's the Notre Dame cartoon mentioned in the Heartstrong post,
along with the original rejected (equally offensive) cartoon, courtesy of
www.TurningLeft.net

Open Letter to Dr. Reisman

Taken from the Heartstrong newsletter:
An Open Letter to Liberty University School of Law Visiting Professor Dr. Judith Reisman

Judith Reisman: ...the aim of homosexual males and now increasingly females is not to have sex with other old guys and get married but to obtain sex with as many boys as possible. That's the reality. I wish it weren't, but it is.


Reisman also recently claimed, "Just as AIDS is a natural outgrowth of amoral sexual education and media, so too is child sexual abuse. We are breeding a new human character and child sexual abuse is increasingly part of that character."

Following Dr. Reisman's false statements about gay men and lesbians, HeartStrong founder and executive director Marc Adams sent the following open letter to Dr. Reisman, the LU School of Law and several media outlets. This was done to remind Dr. Reisman of the potential effects such pronouncements can have on young men and women as well as reiterate HeartStrong's call to be a voice for students who are unable to speak for themselves.


***************************************************


AN OPEN LETTER TO DR. REISMAN


Dear Dr. Reisman,

A few days ago I was sent a transcript of your appearance on Matt’s radio show as well as a link to an audio clip of the same show.


I was horrified to hear the things that you said about gay men and lesbians regarding pedophilia. As a former LU student and former fundamentalist Christian, I already understand the excuses that you have for believing such things.

Right about the age most kids are figuring out they are heterosexual via crushes on opposite gender friends at school, church and other social venues, I figured out I was homosexual. While I didn’t have a word for my feelings I certainly knew that I was feeling the opposite of some of my classmates in school.

When I was 14, I sat in a church service where the minister spoke about “homosexuals and faggots.” I had heard those words before but really didn’t understand what they meant. When he began describing two men holding hands in a picture in a national magazine, I immediately knew he was talking about the feelings I had for as far back as I could remember. He then went on to say that all homosexuals were child molesters and would get AIDS and die. This was 1982, long before scientific information was available about HIV transmission so naturally religious leaders and others chalked it up to a morality issue. But for that 14-year-old boy, sitting in that church, knowing I was a homosexual and believing a minister’s words that I would become a child molester, get AIDS and die, it was devastating.

Every night I would cry myself to sleep begging the God I chose to believe in to change me or take me. Every morning I would wake up disappointed that I would be one day closer to becoming a child molester, getting AIDS and dying.


The prediction of my future from the mouth of that minister continuously echoed in my ears. The prospect left me feeling lonely, depressed and desperate. I began thinking of ways that I could end my life with minimal physical pain. I was so concerned about disappointing the God I had been taught required my full heterosexuality that the only thing I could think of doing was ending my life. I decided that would be the best way to deter myself from continuing a life here on earth that I was told was destined for pedophilia, pederasty, painful illness and physical death.


Even though my fundamentalist parents deemed evangelicals like Jerry left-wing liberals, I would occasionally watch OTGH. On one show I heard him mention that God could change behavior from homosexual to heterosexual. Even though I had prayed for change as a young child, this was the first time I heard someone talk about my theory in public.

As I approached young adulthood, I was unsure when I would become the pedophile/pederast that I was promised I would become. I didn’t know if it would happen suddenly or gradually. The boys I had crushes on were my own age but that minister was very sure in his sermon that homosexuals were into having sex with children.

I rebelled against my parents and attended Liberty University as a way to find out more about how I could find this change in my life. I eventually found restorative therapy outside the school. (LU is NOT a trustworthy place if you are dealing with issues like this. I didn’t feel it was safe for me to get counseling on campus.) Over the years that I went through restorative therapy it was always difficult but I really believed I was doing the right thing. I felt that I only had two options for my life anyway; change my life or end my life. I just kept pushing to change my life.

At the beginning of my senior year I began questioning many things in my life (I know, not very politically correct thing to do at LU). I questioned mostly my racist and sexist fundamentalist Christian theology. It was clear to me very quickly that the adults in my life had taught me many things that simply weren’t true. I guess that is why fundamentalist and evangelicals are mostly against believers questioning and researching things.

In that questioning I realized that while I was feeling I had changed my behavior I had not changed how I felt on the inside. I only desired to be attracted to the opposite gender because people told me that was normal and right. My idolatry of acceptance was painfully obvious. I realized that my years of feeling broken, lonely and disconnected had nothing to do with my homosexuality but rather my believing adults like that minister whose words were obviously based on a religious belief rather than facts.

After escaping from LU, fundamentalist Christianity and the idolatry of acceptance I started meeting other people, mostly students from religious educational institutions who worshipped the idol of acceptance from their families, friends and religious beliefs. As someone who made it out of that burning building alive I decided that I had the strength to turn around and go back and rescue as many people as I could.

Since 1996, HeartStrong, the social justice nonprofit organization I founded has opened the door to truth and peace for many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students at religious educational institutions. Young men and women clinging to the edge of life after believing their lives were doomed by the words of religious school leadership and others.


My upbringing in fundamentalist Christianity, my attendance at religious schools for high school and college (at LU) authorized and empowered me to reach out and help students whose happiness and peace was stolen from them by religious school leadership and others.


The statements you made recently about AIDS, gay men and lesbians are no different from what I was taught decades ago. I have made sure that the many people who have heard me speak over the past 15 years were able to hear what you said so they know that things have not changed. The words you and others say, fuel HeartStrong to be louder and even more proactive in reaching students who suffer. Thank you for motivating us to work even harder.

I am curious when it is you think that I will become a pedophile/pederast. Since you share that belief with many others in my past I am very interested to find out when that will happen. Also, since you believe that AIDS is a punishment for immorality, can you tell me when I will become HIV+? You also stated that the media is responsible for AIDS. What media should I not listen to in order to avoid contracting HIV? You spoke with such authority and belief that surely you must have some idea when this will start for me.

Of course I am being facetious. Since your statements are false and based only on ridiculousness and your own fear of anything that doesn’t represent your version of heterosexuality, these things will never happen. You are old enough now to know that convictions based on religious belief don't make those beliefs valid or true.

I know you have extremely limited experience in this area and I know that no one has ever said this to you before, but words kill. Feeding lies like yours into the ears of young men and women who struggle to find light in the darkness you disperse, often find themselves wishing for a way out.

As a former LU student who sat in chapel services where similar lies were espoused I can say with certainty that what you say can cause someone to feel that suicide is the only way to freedom. The words you say can have a profoundly harmful effect of young men and women.

While I highly doubt that you will change your religious beliefs because I write you a letter, I wanted to make sure that someone communicated with you regarding the slanderous statement you made against gay men and lesbians and the harmful effects those words have on those young men and women who wake up every day disappointed that the God they cried out to the night before did not end their life for them.

I don’t know much about you or your life, but I hope that you don’t have children, grandchildren or great grandchildren. The opportunity for any family, religious or not, to have gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender members is the same as always. The words you have said could cause someone close to you to feel that the only way to live is to die. I might be wrong but I doubt you would want anyone you truly love to ever feel that way.

Sincerely


Marc Adams

Truth

Here's a newsflash for all you folks,

kids and oldsters alike;

There's nothing wrong with you.

'Religious' folks do now what they

have always done;

they seek those whom they can prey on,

and pretend to pray for them.

They want control over others because they

can't control themselves.

They see the world in stark, sad, scary terms

and want others to do the same.

It causes not bit of lost sleep for the

folks who run the 'reparative therapy'

centers or 'Pray away the gay' groups

to know that they have caused irreparable damage

to untold numbers of people...

making them fear their own feelings

and feel shame and disgust for

themselves.

All in the name of a supposedly

loving deity.

As long as they can get folks to suppress their spirits

and deny their feelings, they're happy.

As long as the illusion and lie of

being 'like everyone else' is present,

the heartbreak and misery and

self-hate and denial that it takes to

achieve said lies are acceptable.

Conservative estimates say 10%

of the population is homosexual.

(I say it's much greater...I have seen

way too many people through the years!)

That means roughly 700,000,000 people

are currently queer.

What exactly do the people behind

trying to turn away from their real

selves gain by torturing 700 million

people on the planet?

Might be time to find out.

***

HEARTSTRONG letter

July 21, 2011

I was a senior religion major at a major Christian university studying for ministry. I felt that this was the plan for my life. I had always known I was gay but was terrified to ever entertain the homosexual thoughts and feelings in my mind. It was at this juncture in my life that I knew I had to deal with these feelings. I had come to the place where I could barely make myself get out of bed due to depression caused by the "sinfulness" of my thoughts. I contemplated suicide but could never bring myself to do it. I felt I had no place to turn. I did not dare reveal my secret to anyone for fear of being discovered or worse yet, kicked out.

I decided to maintain my secret and seek counseling. I traveled 200 miles once a week for about three weeks. I could not afford the gas. The counseling was supposed to convince me of the sinfulness of my homosexuality and reform me to the point of being able to start my own traditional family consisting of a wife and children. Exhausted I sought help from an online exgay service. My counselor was a man who had been a Baptist minister. He had been caught in the act of homosexuality an immediately removed from his position. He informed me of outlets and support groups offered by exgay groups. The more I read the more I was convinced that it wasn't so much about change as it was about repression.

I knew there had to be some organization that was committed to the support of homosexuals seeking help. I decided to begin that search. Online, I found an organization called HeartStrong. I sent an email describing my situation and myself. I received a warm and understanding response from Marc Adams. He assured me that my feelings were natural and were not sinful or wrong. He sent me a free copy of his own story, a book called, The Preacher's Son. I was so anxious to read it. It seemed unimaginable that another person could share my feelings and situation. When I got the book, I hurried to my dorm room and began reading it. It was inscribed "When your heart is strong, you're never alone."

Four hours later I completed the book without any breaks. I was so absorbed by the text, so much that I felt it was my own story sometimes. After reading it, I knew I had to free the captive inside me. I decided to return to my hometown. Shortly after that I began coming out to my family and friends. Many abandoned me and one even vocalized their wish for my death. I was disappointed and hurt but my mind often reflected back to Marc's story and the kindness of the people at HeartStrong. It was there that I found comfort and solace.

Nearly two years have passed since I came out to my supposed friends and family. I am living a full and happy life as a gay man with new friends and family that go beyond the boundaries of blood relations. This would not have been possible without the help of HeartStrong. I am forever grateful.

Kevin Lawling

*******************************************************

NOTE FROM HEARTSTRONG PRESIDENT, Dr. Shelley Craig

Kevin's story is not unusual. For early 15 years HeartStrong has provided hope and help for students just like Kevin. Students who struggle with self-acceptance and the ordeal of after effects from family members who choose to make coming out a discussion/debate instead of an announcement.

It does not take much to give someone hope. We have spent the past 15 years opening the door for over 1000 students who feel that there is no hope to be found.

We cannot do this without you, our HeartStrong Friends. We provide our life saving materials without you.

For those who have given, thank you. For those who will give , thank you.

If you are in any of the areas where we will have HeartStrong Forums as listed below, please come out to find out more about all that we are doing to save lives.

Dr. Shelley Craig
President, HeartStrong Inc.


2011 HeartStrong Forums

July 19 UU Church Longview TX
July 17 PFLAG Chicago IL
July 23 Michiana GLBT Center South Bend IN
July 24 PFLAG Oak Park IL
July 27 PFLAG Munster IN
August 2 UU Church/PFLAG Jefferson City MO
August 3 UU Church Columbia MO
August 4 PFLAG Belleville IL
August 7 PFLAG Hinsdale IL
August 8 Kalamazoo Public Library Kalamazoo MI
August 14 Elkhart IN
August 17 PFLAG South Orange County CA
August 18 PFLAG Simi Valley CA
August 23 PFLAG Whittier CA
August 28 UU Church La Crescenta CA
September 4 UU Church Las Vegas NV
September 6 PFLAG Modesto CA
September 11 PFLAG Napa CA
September 12 PFLAG Redwood City CA
September 14 PFLAG San Jose CA
September 18 PFLAG Philadelphia PA
September 19 PFLAG Collingswood PA
September 27 PFLAG Baltimore County MD
October 2 Wayne NJ
October 9 Albany NY
October 11 PFLAG Columbia MD
October 13 PFLAG Wilmington DE
October 16 UU Church Hunterdon County NJ
October 16 Somerset NJ
October 24 PFLAG Staten Island NY
November 12 Pittsburgh PA
December 4 Dahlonega GA
February 26 River of Grass UU Church Weston FL

********************************************

LGBT students blamed for their own deaths

Liberty University employee blame gay kids for suicides

Liberty Counsel's Matt Barber who works for both Liberty University and Liberty Counsel, claims that "kids who are engaging in homosexual behavior often look inward and know that what they are doing is unnatural, is wrong, is immoral, and so they become depressed and the instances of suicide can rise there as well."
Barber: Gay Kids Commit Suicide Because They Know It's Unnatural and Immoral

This is not a new point of view for religious school leadership. When HeartStrong first began its work in 1996, information about HeartStrong and the role anti-GLBT messages from religious school leadership was distributed to 5,000 religious schools throughout North America.

The overwhelming response from leadership in 1996 was that GLBT students bring suicide on themselves for giving in to sin and succumbing to the guilt that comes "naturally from God."

Nearly 15 years later the message is still the same. With less than a handful of exceptions, religious educational institutions are still unable to provide safe learning environments for students. With the popularity of religious education rising and parents rushing to place their children in religious schools, the work of HeartStrong remains more relevant with each passing day.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU SHOULD KNOW...
Since founder Jerry Falwell's death, his "ministry" and schools are growing tremendously. His two sons have taken over and wiped out all debt and put the schools on track for their original growth goals.

Liberty University is now the nation's eighth-largest four-year university and the largest four-year private, nonprofit university, according to data released by the U.S. Department of Education's National Center for Education Statistics. It is also the world's largest Christian university. Liberty was ranked 25th among four-year universities in 2009. In 2000, the overall enrollment was only 8,606.

Liberty currently has 64,610 students, making it the largest four-year college in Virginia. George Mason University, the second-largest college in Virginia, has 39,977 students.

Liberty University remains a anti-GLBT school as does Liberty Christian Academy. The incredible growth and popularity of these schools (like so many others) is one reason why parents place their children there. Students struggling with orientation and identity issues are thrust into an enivronment that is difficult to survive.

"[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven." - Jerry Falwell

(Excerpted from the Heartstrong newsletter. For more info on tracking anti-gay religious schools
and finding help from their intolerance and exclusion, contact Heartstrong at http://www.heartstrong.org/ )

What I Have To Say

(taken from the Heartstrong newsletter)


The video above is from a student who was bullied by a teacher and others in his high school in Palm Coast, FL We are grateful for his courage to stand up for himself and for those in his school who are not able to stand for themselves.

Youth Empowerment Project picks up speed.
Youth Empowerment Project (YEP) is a multi-year project of HeartStrong which will provide digital educator's guides to every school counselor in the US at public, private and religious educational institutions. YEP also provides free resources and outreach materials to GSA's and other groups. It is a mammoth project several years in the making.

We are continually asked how YEP is funded. While we have attempted to gain some grant money for this project the bulk of the funding will come from individuals making donations.
Since the majority of YEP is done electronically using email, etc., it is a very cost effective program. However the overall cost of YEP including the resource materials for GSA's and others is at about $50,000 for the entire project. This is above and beyond the funding needed for the other work for HeartStrong.

We are using every means possible to to as much as we can with what we are given.

Individuals and groups wishing to donate to help YEP reach school counselors and youth can donate by clicking here. Donations are tax deductible.

Donate here to help HeartStrong do this work.

Keep up to date with YEP by joining us on Facebook and on twitter @HeartStrongYEP

HEARTSTRONG, INC.

Remembering Robbie Kirkland

A kept promise 

 

In 2001, I stood with Robbie Kirkland's mom, Leslie Sadasivan, in Robbie's bedroom.
It was as if he had just left for school that day. Not much had changed in that room.

In fact, as we begin to sift through his belongings and in particular his school notebooks,
we began to find more clues as to how he got to a place of no return.

Robbie's mom knew he was struggling at his Catholic school. When I opened one of his
notebooks I found the phrase "I hate the way god made me" scribbled over and over again.

I didn't have to look any further. Those words written in a panic clearly explained the
course of Robbie's short life.

That day, I promised Leslie that at HeartStrong we would never forget her son and never
stop reminding our HeartStrong Friends of all of the "Robbie's" in this world.

It's been a while since we last talked about Robbie who for us symbolizes so many students
at religious schools who attempt or succeed at taking their lives.

I know there are a lot of people reading this email who don't know about Robbie or others
like him so we thought we would publish his story again. I am also including a link here to
some photos his mom has made available.

A lot of time has passed since I stood in Robbie's bedroom trying not to cry in front of his still
grieving mother. Over these years I have met many other parents who sent their children to
religious schools and were then grieving over their deaths.

I am often asked how it's possible for me (or anyone) to continue doing the work of HeartStrong
without large amounts of public support. My answer is always the same, I do it for Robbie and
every other boy or girl who has ever struggled to stay alive in an educational environment which
teaches them to hate and reject who they are.

I could have been a "Robbie." So many of my friends could have been a "Robbie." How we found
enough grace to accept ourselves is how we are able to help others still on that journey.

Marc Adams

For more Info, check out www.heartstrong.org