Warning: Community Alert!!!

As if we didn't have enough to worry about...

Increased attacks on gays and lesbians are occurring.

Exercise good judgment...

Refrain from public drunkenness or drugs that impair

your judgment....

Be aware of your surroundings
and aware of whom you

surround yourself with...

Learn to fight!

***

Dissecting Hate

How can we determine what the best possible response to
a culture of hate will be?

We have anti-gay laws, we have unexpected homophobic
remarks accosting us in public, we get disowned by family,
there is threat of physical violence and vandalism....it's an
ongoing concern from every direction.

The world is changing so rapidly, from the economic front to
the political factionalizing to the growing number of hate groups.

We have new legislation passing--and being repealed--every
day and many cities/counties/states' laws are completely
contradictory to one another.

There isn't one set rule of thumb for handling ignorance, bias,
and hate actions, so how can we serve a unified response?
How can we teach people how to prepare and survive their
experiences with those who would see us harmed simply
because they think they can?

I sometimes wonder if giving attention and energy to hate
groups and talking heads doesn't embolden them. I'm sure
that it does, to an extent...but I'm not naive enough to think
you can simply let uncouth, hurtful words go undenounced,
nor inappropriate legislation go unchecked.

But at what point to we simply block out the negativity of
the masses and commit to living our own best life, designing
for ourselves and those we love an air of calm, loving, and
support?

If I could pass on one idea to the coming generations of
'differently attracted' kids, it would be to not let anyone
else instruct your inner landscape. Not church people, not
parents, not friends, not organizations. Each person has to
become grounded in their own personhood, and not merely
channeling others' strength.

It's hard, and it takes a lot of time, usually. But at the end of
it all, the most distinguished contribution anyone can make to
Hate is to not let it destroy their happiness or upend their life.

Living well really is the best revenge.

Maybe it's time we stopped getting quite so emotionally
wrapped up in all the horrible things that are said about us?

We can't cure stupid, and this earth will never be a paradise.
Maybe we can just become dedicated to our own inner Utopias...
and help others do the same.

******************************************

The Hidden, Normal Lives of Gays and Lesbians (Named or otherwise)

It's still a massive scary struggle for many stuck in small towns,
tight-knit families, religious groups, and majorly homophobic
jobs or positions.

Public advancement of rights and attitudes doesn't reflect the
nature of mindsets in cloistered, isolated sub-groups where
little individuality or visibility flourishes.

In these inculcated units of repression and assimilation,
there is still much private suffering. Those who live in a daily grind
without support, those who are questioning and deliberating while
too afraid to seek out like people, and those who are fighting
against their nature and desire,  are all likely to receive an even
higher dose of venom and rhetoric, if not abuse.

The unstable, hateful forces that oppose us (and anyone who is
different) take advantage of the quiet, the unsure, the struggling,
and the conflicted.

Truth is that no matter how visible many of us are nor how much
public strides are made, the vast majority of us will always be
unspoken, unidentified, private, invisible...living quietly and
unannounced. Unassuming. Wanting sexuality to be only a simple
and minor aspect of the whole. (Or wanting to ignore it all together.)

They are, and have been, and will always be part of us.

They are no less important, nor any less one of us, than the most vocal
activist. And in all our zeal to be confrontational and visible, we cannot
overlook that they will bear the brunt of the ignorant in  retaliation
against us.

They cannot be forgotten.

******************************************************

Some Battles..but Not the War

Keep looking to the mountain top;

There's no telling how many times we may

have to replant that flag!

Keep on keeping on...

we deserve better than they would

choose to allow us to have.

***

"Soldier's Girl" full movie

Here's a little "Happy 'Keeping-it-Real' Veteran's Day" for y'all!
Depressing as hell--and infuriating--but worth seeing.

This sobering tale was put out by Showtime in 2003, and tells the
true story of a murder of an army private due to his sexuality.

Remember that this was done in the years that DADT and DOMA
were front burner shitstorms and when Bushie was stirring the
homophobia pot in order to steal another election.

In English with subtitles.

***************************************************

"If It Was a Snake, It Would'a Bit Ya!"

Well, actually, I think it's obviously two, great big

GIANT snakes, but the lure of the Mighty Whitey,

some fake-ass smiles, and the almighty dollar have

a little more draw than common sense, these days.

Anyway, it couldn't be more obvious than if

Romney and Ryan put out ads where they

called us 'fags' and 'dykes' and then proceeded

to calmly ask us to 'Vote for them anyway!'

I personally am tired of a country that wants

to minimalize me and my feelings, to sweep

under the rug all the violence and bullying and

inappropriate treatment we receive, and to

expect us to expect second-class citizenry.

Things won't change unless we change them.

Any disappointment you have with Obama's

hesitancy and timetables will be exponentially

exacerbated by the aggressive assault Mitt

Romney and company will put forth against

us on behalf of his misguided 'religious' views.

(For more on the matter, check out:)

Gay Republicans Get Lambasting For Romney Support

"Thanks" to the Log Cabin Republicans

***

Open Letter to Dr. Reisman

Taken from the Heartstrong newsletter:
An Open Letter to Liberty University School of Law Visiting Professor Dr. Judith Reisman

Judith Reisman: ...the aim of homosexual males and now increasingly females is not to have sex with other old guys and get married but to obtain sex with as many boys as possible. That's the reality. I wish it weren't, but it is.


Reisman also recently claimed, "Just as AIDS is a natural outgrowth of amoral sexual education and media, so too is child sexual abuse. We are breeding a new human character and child sexual abuse is increasingly part of that character."

Following Dr. Reisman's false statements about gay men and lesbians, HeartStrong founder and executive director Marc Adams sent the following open letter to Dr. Reisman, the LU School of Law and several media outlets. This was done to remind Dr. Reisman of the potential effects such pronouncements can have on young men and women as well as reiterate HeartStrong's call to be a voice for students who are unable to speak for themselves.


***************************************************


AN OPEN LETTER TO DR. REISMAN


Dear Dr. Reisman,

A few days ago I was sent a transcript of your appearance on Matt’s radio show as well as a link to an audio clip of the same show.


I was horrified to hear the things that you said about gay men and lesbians regarding pedophilia. As a former LU student and former fundamentalist Christian, I already understand the excuses that you have for believing such things.

Right about the age most kids are figuring out they are heterosexual via crushes on opposite gender friends at school, church and other social venues, I figured out I was homosexual. While I didn’t have a word for my feelings I certainly knew that I was feeling the opposite of some of my classmates in school.

When I was 14, I sat in a church service where the minister spoke about “homosexuals and faggots.” I had heard those words before but really didn’t understand what they meant. When he began describing two men holding hands in a picture in a national magazine, I immediately knew he was talking about the feelings I had for as far back as I could remember. He then went on to say that all homosexuals were child molesters and would get AIDS and die. This was 1982, long before scientific information was available about HIV transmission so naturally religious leaders and others chalked it up to a morality issue. But for that 14-year-old boy, sitting in that church, knowing I was a homosexual and believing a minister’s words that I would become a child molester, get AIDS and die, it was devastating.

Every night I would cry myself to sleep begging the God I chose to believe in to change me or take me. Every morning I would wake up disappointed that I would be one day closer to becoming a child molester, getting AIDS and dying.


The prediction of my future from the mouth of that minister continuously echoed in my ears. The prospect left me feeling lonely, depressed and desperate. I began thinking of ways that I could end my life with minimal physical pain. I was so concerned about disappointing the God I had been taught required my full heterosexuality that the only thing I could think of doing was ending my life. I decided that would be the best way to deter myself from continuing a life here on earth that I was told was destined for pedophilia, pederasty, painful illness and physical death.


Even though my fundamentalist parents deemed evangelicals like Jerry left-wing liberals, I would occasionally watch OTGH. On one show I heard him mention that God could change behavior from homosexual to heterosexual. Even though I had prayed for change as a young child, this was the first time I heard someone talk about my theory in public.

As I approached young adulthood, I was unsure when I would become the pedophile/pederast that I was promised I would become. I didn’t know if it would happen suddenly or gradually. The boys I had crushes on were my own age but that minister was very sure in his sermon that homosexuals were into having sex with children.

I rebelled against my parents and attended Liberty University as a way to find out more about how I could find this change in my life. I eventually found restorative therapy outside the school. (LU is NOT a trustworthy place if you are dealing with issues like this. I didn’t feel it was safe for me to get counseling on campus.) Over the years that I went through restorative therapy it was always difficult but I really believed I was doing the right thing. I felt that I only had two options for my life anyway; change my life or end my life. I just kept pushing to change my life.

At the beginning of my senior year I began questioning many things in my life (I know, not very politically correct thing to do at LU). I questioned mostly my racist and sexist fundamentalist Christian theology. It was clear to me very quickly that the adults in my life had taught me many things that simply weren’t true. I guess that is why fundamentalist and evangelicals are mostly against believers questioning and researching things.

In that questioning I realized that while I was feeling I had changed my behavior I had not changed how I felt on the inside. I only desired to be attracted to the opposite gender because people told me that was normal and right. My idolatry of acceptance was painfully obvious. I realized that my years of feeling broken, lonely and disconnected had nothing to do with my homosexuality but rather my believing adults like that minister whose words were obviously based on a religious belief rather than facts.

After escaping from LU, fundamentalist Christianity and the idolatry of acceptance I started meeting other people, mostly students from religious educational institutions who worshipped the idol of acceptance from their families, friends and religious beliefs. As someone who made it out of that burning building alive I decided that I had the strength to turn around and go back and rescue as many people as I could.

Since 1996, HeartStrong, the social justice nonprofit organization I founded has opened the door to truth and peace for many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students at religious educational institutions. Young men and women clinging to the edge of life after believing their lives were doomed by the words of religious school leadership and others.


My upbringing in fundamentalist Christianity, my attendance at religious schools for high school and college (at LU) authorized and empowered me to reach out and help students whose happiness and peace was stolen from them by religious school leadership and others.


The statements you made recently about AIDS, gay men and lesbians are no different from what I was taught decades ago. I have made sure that the many people who have heard me speak over the past 15 years were able to hear what you said so they know that things have not changed. The words you and others say, fuel HeartStrong to be louder and even more proactive in reaching students who suffer. Thank you for motivating us to work even harder.

I am curious when it is you think that I will become a pedophile/pederast. Since you share that belief with many others in my past I am very interested to find out when that will happen. Also, since you believe that AIDS is a punishment for immorality, can you tell me when I will become HIV+? You also stated that the media is responsible for AIDS. What media should I not listen to in order to avoid contracting HIV? You spoke with such authority and belief that surely you must have some idea when this will start for me.

Of course I am being facetious. Since your statements are false and based only on ridiculousness and your own fear of anything that doesn’t represent your version of heterosexuality, these things will never happen. You are old enough now to know that convictions based on religious belief don't make those beliefs valid or true.

I know you have extremely limited experience in this area and I know that no one has ever said this to you before, but words kill. Feeding lies like yours into the ears of young men and women who struggle to find light in the darkness you disperse, often find themselves wishing for a way out.

As a former LU student who sat in chapel services where similar lies were espoused I can say with certainty that what you say can cause someone to feel that suicide is the only way to freedom. The words you say can have a profoundly harmful effect of young men and women.

While I highly doubt that you will change your religious beliefs because I write you a letter, I wanted to make sure that someone communicated with you regarding the slanderous statement you made against gay men and lesbians and the harmful effects those words have on those young men and women who wake up every day disappointed that the God they cried out to the night before did not end their life for them.

I don’t know much about you or your life, but I hope that you don’t have children, grandchildren or great grandchildren. The opportunity for any family, religious or not, to have gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender members is the same as always. The words you have said could cause someone close to you to feel that the only way to live is to die. I might be wrong but I doubt you would want anyone you truly love to ever feel that way.

Sincerely


Marc Adams

WE GIVE A DAMN #1