This is Where You Belong

This blog is for all the young (and middle-aged, and older) men and women
I see who are too scared to approach me in the streets to ask for support
or advice....who are living invisibly amongst the rest.

For the people who can't even fathom mentioning the truth of their bodies

and souls aloud for fear that someone will hear, or that it will make it real.

It's for all the people who feel cursed because small town living is all they

know and all they ever expect to know in their lifetime.

For all the people ruined by crazed religious fanatics who taught hellfire and

hate instead of self-love and acceptance.

It's for all the people who live in places, like the place I live, where people

seem to prefer dead closet cases over living, loving, whole people.

So, for those of you who may never be banner-wavers or pride-marchers

or even openly gay or bi or lesbian-identified.....for those of you who simply

need to know that you are not alone in the world, that you are okay exactly

as you are, and there is nothing wrong with you that in any way needs to be

changed....this blog is for you.

May you know and accept just one iota of how special and perfect you are,

as you learn to reject the untruths and pain dispensed to you by those who

know so very little.

Peace and love, my brothers and sisters...this is the place we can connect;

you are home.

"Connected" - Short Film

Just a beautiful piece for the simplicity (yet poignancy) of physical and
emotional intimacy! It's not all about sex, nor do feelings die when things
have run their course.

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"Shelter" (full movie)

Great film that shows a sweet and sincere real-life relationship blooming
as one man is recuperating from a break-up and another is fighting his
own feelings as he struggles with his sexuality and place in life.

Great insights into family, growing up, coming out, and self-acceptance
in this superb 'smaller' film featuring the (praises!) often-shirtless Brad
Rowe and Trevor Wright!

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A Word of Advice for Holiday (Coming) Outings

I know that for those of us newly having come to terms with

our sexuality and identity, there can be a transformative

sense of elation and freedom...and also a desire to

share with others, since we have been

burdened with isolation for so long.

Considering this, the holidays can seem like

the perfect time to spring the news on friends

and family, while everyone is in one place and

moods are (at least in pretense and theory) high.

But I would caution folks from doing this, despite the

popularity of the action, without giving ample

thought, time, and consideration to it first.

The euphoria we feel when newly out (even if

only to ourselves) can affect our judgment on

these rather large life-decisions.

Now, the most specific target audience I am

addressing is the youth; anyone still living at home

and emotionally (and particularly financially)

vulnerable. Or, anyone of any age whose living

arrangements or physical well being are tied up

in another's good graces.

The predominant desire--at any age--is that you will

let the family member or friend whom you care about in

on the good feelings so that they too can experience them.

But there is no telling what the response will be,

and the numbers of teens who are kicked out on the street

every year for announcing being gay or lesbian (or for

that matter, questioning) is astronomical.

I don't say this lightly to produce fear; simply to be

the voice of reason and considerate deliberation.

(When I came out to my parents as a young teen,

my father raged and physically threatened me, called

the sheriff to remove me from the home, and screamed

like a madman. I escaped to my 'liberal cool' aunt's house,

where she turned me away as well. You just don't know, and

your safety isn't worth taking chances with.)

If the whole 'being out' thing is new to you,

you should try telling one or two close people

first, in a safe and intimate environment.

The euphoria of being in this new place can warp

your perceptions about whether things are really a good

idea or not. Feelings can lead your mind to think what it

wants, rather than what's realistic. Therefore, even though I

am personally balls out, I suggest others feel out the situation

and circumstances before they potentially put themselves in a

bad situation.

Think it through, be calm, consider it carefully,

get the advice of a great friend or counselor

or even someone else who has gone through the coming

out process. It isn't a race, and if telling people is

a good idea now, it'll still be a good idea later.

Don't rush. You have to consider the big picture.

(Conversely, you can't undo it once done, so...)

On the opposite end of things; if you're feeling

depressed and isolated because you are not

handling your sexuality and your feelings well,

please know that you don't have to go through it

alone. Many of us went through very dark days

on the road to loving yourself; this world is harsh.

But there are places to help, and people who care.

And most certainly you should avoid folks who

make you feel badly about yourself. You deserve better.

There's more to our lives than sex, there's more

to our world than disapproving people. Break out

of the bonds of fear and repression, and just

be free! It's a work in progress...but it is worth it!

For more info, support, and stories

of others, check out

www.hrc.org/ComingOut

www.gaylife.about.com/od/comingout/a/Coming-Out.htm

www.ExperienceProject.com

***

k. d. Lang - "Hush Sweet Lover"

Love whom you wish...
   Think what you will...
Being 'legal' doesn't make it easy...
   Put yourself out there at all costs.

Live it large...Peace and love, kids!

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Simplicity

You would think that we

could reach a point

in human evolution

(Is that just a myth?)

where this would be

a rather minor

revelation

in the scheme of things.

I don't hold much hope,

but I work for change,

regardless.

***

WE GIVE A DAMN #1