Thursday, January 27, 2011
We gay people are simply not capable of what's required to
commit to the same level of prestige and honor that heterosexual*
couples have devoted 5,000 years to getting correct....(with
God's and little baby Jesus' assistance of course.)
* (as well as purportedly heterosexual people, bisexual people,
closeted gay people, gay people seeking green cards, people
who lied about loving the other person, people scamming for
tax breaks, people simply seeking parents for their kids, and
Gays and lesbians (and other Queer folks) don't yet have the
wherewithal to promote the necessary brutality of arranged marriages,
marriages of convenience, being trapped into marriage by demands
of a religious family, purchasing a wife from her family, breeding
to produce workers for the farm, being shamed into marriage to
cover an early pregnancy, getting trapped to provide a 'family' for
an unexpected pregnancy,
Gays are not subtle enough or quiet enough to master the fine points
of perfecting extra-marital affairs.
We homos have never been into the kids; that was a myth spread by all
those heterosexual child rapists to distract from the truth. Used to be, the
straight pedophiles could legally marry underage girls, with the consent of
their loving breeder parents. And of course the highest numbers of child
abuse and child rape occur within the household at the hands of a hetero
parent of either sex. We gays can't hold a candle to that with our crazy
Pride parades.Go, Straight America! Maintain those values.
(And if things get stale, pick a bride or groom on go-around 2 or 3 who
has some kids of their own; get a taste of something new since the only
requirement for hets getting married is blood work and license. It's like
shooting fish in a barrel.)
We are too focused and committed to be willing to start and stop
multiple marriages (3, 4, 5 times or more), and we aren't hypocritical
enough to approach the same church we would use to deny others
favor to have them provide the ceremony for the additional multiple
We aren't savvy enough to be able to pick and choose what items
from 'sacred tomes' are legitimately 'of God' and pertinent to our
lives, and which can be dropped and ignored. Wow! Straight
people are so smart!
Queers are too sensitive to the needs of others to be as physically
abusive, emotionally abusive, exploitative, verbally abusive, or otherwise
dismissive of offspring as straight America is. And of course, pumping
out babies is a key aspect of getting married. Cuz everybody's doing it!
We couldn't deny our child medical care due to some numb-nutted religion.
(We'd probably screw up and take them to the doctor.)
So, please help us out and continue denying that it's 2011; you're really
helping us out, America. If we aren't granted equal representation under
the law, maybe people will stop holding us accountable for all the crazy
shit going down in this country!