Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Point of Suffering is to LEARN the Lesson

Rampant drug use and
because nothing says
'progress, self-respect, and
reclaiming one's sexuality'
like remaining a perpetually
self-destructive, disdainful,
objectified, careless, indiscriminate,
hedonistic man-whore.
(Respect yourself.
Respect your brothers.)

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Warning: Community Alert!!!

As if we didn't have enough to worry about...

Increased attacks on gays and lesbians are occurring.

Exercise good judgment...

Refrain from public drunkenness or drugs that impair
your judgment....

Be aware of your surroundings
and aware of whom you
surround yourself with...

Learn to fight!


Thursday, August 29, 2013

More than you do.
More, to make up for the Less of others.
More, to set things right.
More, because you deserve it.
More, in addition to 'at all,'
since the church and schools and our families and
the state messed that lesson up so bangingly well.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Kelly Clarkson - "People Like Us"

Absolute perfection.
This girl cranks out anthems and power ballads like the other young singers
crank out arrest records.

You GO, Miss Lady;
we needed something to give us some encouragement right about now!


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Thinking Back...The Manifestation of 'The Third Sex'

While 'Other boys my age'
(bully for them!)
were rocking out to their in-unison
worship of KISS, Queen, Led Zeppelin,
Billy Idol and The Eagles,
I had magazines and pictures and albums and,
yes--sleeping bags and pajamas--
for an array of fantastic female artists!

Linda Ronstadt, Lynda Carter,
Pat Benatar, Kim Carnes, Melissa
Manchester, Anne Murray, Donna Summer
and Olivia Newton John were my inspiration...
quite unapologetically, thank you very much.
By the posters and pinned up articles I kept,
the writing was literally on the wall for this boy!

(And, oh, how many of us learned how to be defiant
and sassy watching the Black Female Elite of screens
large and small? From the sassy mouths of Nell Carter,
Shirley Hemphill, Marla Gibbs, Lawanda Page and more
we learned how to speak up and be unafraid!)

What I didn't know at the time, in the very plain
suburbs of the South, surrounded by all that
testosterone and incompatibility, was that all around
the world were my fellows developing exactly the same
That we, the select Homo-Elite, were finding our answers
to 'Differentness' under the banner of strong and proud
women...and that it was our shared media, even if invisibly
across the airwaves and on magazine covers.

Not every little gay boy found such warmth and comfort
in the images of Wonder Woman and the Bionic Woman
and powerful female vocalists and the like, but those of us\
that did (long before internet or openly gay kids or       )
have a rich and shared history of 'weathering the storm'
of loneliness by connecting to those outside our sphere...
and discovering like concepts and fringe meaning!


Friday, June 21, 2013

Methodology of Bully-Response, 101

I repeatedly find myself admonished for giving bullies and neanderthals
(a.k.a. religious zealots and bigots) my energy and attention. The advice
I'm given is to 'just ignore them' and not give them any undue power.

It's a wonderfully idealized concept to imagine that we can just pretend
that constant harassment has no impact on us. But to 'simply ignore' a
bully does not teach them that they can't get a rise; it teaches them that
we are willing victims and their abuse will be tolerated until they tire of
dishing it out.

That's depowering and passive and horribly ineffective, whether on the
playground, in the courtrooms, online, or at our work and homes.

Fighting back says that you're worth fighting for.
It draws a line in the sand.
It opposes the harmful action and expresses.
It teaches us how to combat the inappropriate and injust of this world
(and yes, that can be a constant battle.)

Is suffering a bully gladly a time-honored means of building personal
character and strength? Some times.

But what of all the kids and adults who aren't as formidable--who buckle
and are adversely affected by the pressures and attacks of bullies of all
shapes and sizes? Do we throw them to the wolves and let them fend for
themselves? I don't think so.

And that's why I do what I do. Not to grant significance to douchebags
and self-congratulatory schmucks and posers. Not to engage assholes
who think hurting others is their appointment in life. Not to maintain a
sense of victimhood or powerlessness.

No, I address the dicks who try and make our lives miserable so that
those who think they're alone know they're not...so that those who don't
think they can stand up for themselves realize they can....and to let those
who think it's their job to 'shut up and take it' know that they have a choice
and a voice. And of course, to send a clear and vocal message to assholes
that we are off limits to their shenanigans.

We can have as good a life here as we're willing to fight for. And our enemies
are for damned sure organized, so we'd better learn to be as well.


Thursday, June 20, 2013

Exodus International closes doors, offers 'Apology'

The following (below in blue lettering) is the letter in whole, which
I clipped from the website Freedom Requires Wings , an incredible
website I highly recommend to all! (Thanks!)

I don't include it here because the apology means shit to me.
But it may mean something to millions of others hurt and destroyed
by the manipulations, fraud, and abuse conducted by this organization
and all the humans that ran it for the last several decades, even after it
was clear how wrong they were.

Maybe this will mean closure for some.
Maybe it will be long-sought vindication.
Perhaps it will assist healing.

I would hope that the peace of finally being told "Hey--you're not crazy--
you were right! And we took something very precious from you." might
be of some solace to many. A drop in the bucket, and long overdue, but
solace nonetheless.

I had my own experiences with Exodus at a young and vulnerable age,
and I have recounted that elsewhere. Suffice it to say it did great harm
and I am still recovering.

I'm printing this letter not to ask for forgiveness, but to let folks know;
all the lies told have now been exposed. All the other agencies and groups
and 'rehab centers' run by the Bachmanns and others are the same or worse.
There is no 'cure,' save self-acceptance and peace within self (and the utter
destruction of sexually-repressed and hateful religious fanatics and zealots.)

It's a long, hard road, and it starts with no longer buying into the lies.


To Members of the LGBTQ Community:

In 1993 I caused a four-car pileup. In a hurry to get to a friend’s house, I was driving when a bee started buzzing around the inside of my windshield. I hit the bee and it fell on the dashboard. A minute later it started buzzing again with a fury. Trying to swat it again I completely missed the fact that a city bus had stopped three cars in front of me. I also missed that those three cars were stopping, as well. Going 40 miles an hour I slammed into the car in front of me causing a chain reaction. I was injured and so were several others. I never intended for the accident to happen. I would never have knowingly hurt anyone. But I did. And it was my fault. In my rush to get to my destination, fear of being stung by a silly bee, and selfish distraction, I injured others.

I have no idea if any of the people injured in that accident have suffered long term effects. While I did not mean to hurt them, I did. The fact that my heart wasn’t malicious did not lessen their pain or their suffering. I am very sorry that I chose to be distracted that fall afternoon, and that I caused so much damage to people and property. If I could take it all back I absolutely would. But I cannot. I pray that everyone involved in the crash has been restored to health.

Recently, I have begun thinking again about how to apologize to the people that have been hurt by Exodus International through an experience or by a message. I have heard many firsthand stories from people called ex-gay survivors. Stories of people who went to Exodus affiliated ministries or ministers for help only to experience more trauma. I have heard stories of shame, sexual misconduct, and false hope. In every case that has been brought to my attention, there has been swift action resulting in the removal of these leaders and/or their organizations. But rarely was there an apology or a public acknowledgement by me.

And then there is the trauma that I have caused. There were several years that I conveniently omitted my ongoing same-sex attractions. I was afraid to share them as readily and easily as I do today. They brought me tremendous shame and I hid them in the hopes they would go away. Looking back, it seems so odd that I thought I could do something to make them stop. Today, however, I accept these feelings as parts of my life that will likely always be there. The days of feeling shame over being human in that way are long over, and I feel free simply accepting myself as my wife and family does. As my friends do. As God does.

Never in a million years would I intentionally hurt another person. Yet, here I sit having hurt so many by failing to acknowledge the pain some affiliated with Exodus International caused, and by failing to share the whole truth about my own story. My good intentions matter very little and fail to diminish the pain and hurt others have experienced on my watch. The good that we have done at Exodus is overshadowed by all of this.

Friends and critics alike have said it’s not enough to simply change our message or website. I agree. I cannot simply move on and pretend that I have always been the friend that I long to be today. I understand why I am distrusted and why Exodus is hated.

Please know that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for the pain and hurt many of you have experienced. I am sorry that some of you spent years working through the shame and guilt you felt when your attractions didn’t change. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation that stigmatized parents. I am sorry that there were times I didn’t stand up to people publicly “on my side” who called you names like sodomite—or worse. I am sorry that I, knowing some of you so well, failed to share publicly that the gay and lesbian people I know were every bit as capable of being amazing parents as the straight people that I know. I am sorry that when I celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him that I callously celebrated the end of relationships that broke your heart. I am sorry that I have communicated that you and your families are less than me and mine.

More than anything, I am sorry that so many have interpreted this religious rejection by Christians as God’s rejection. I am profoundly sorry that many have walked away from their faith and that some have chosen to end their lives. For the rest of my life I will proclaim nothing but the whole truth of the Gospel, one of grace, mercy and open invitation to all to enter into an inseverable relationship with almighty God.

I cannot apologize for my deeply held biblical beliefs about the boundaries I see in scripture surrounding sex, but I will exercise my beliefs with great care and respect for those who do not share them. I cannot apologize for my beliefs about marriage. But I do not have any desire to fight you on your beliefs or the rights that you seek. My beliefs about these things will never again interfere with God’s command to love my neighbor as I love myself.

You have never been my enemy. I am very sorry that I have been yours. I hope the changes in my own life, as well as the ones we announce tonight regarding Exodus International, will bring resolution, and show that I am serious in both my regret and my offer of friendship. I pledge that future endeavors will be focused on peace and common good.

Moving forward, we will serve in our pluralistic culture by hosting thoughtful and safe conversations about gender and sexuality, while partnering with others to reduce fear, inspire hope, and cultivate human flourishing.

Alan Chambers


* see also related blog "God & Gays" on OWN

HOT TV Tonight! "God & Gays"

Some astonishing and highly necessary Thursday night
viewing is on tap tonight--meaningful to any LGBTQ person
or the people that love them, and especially anyone struggling
with the issues of religion/spirituality and homosexuality.

Oprah Network's (OWN) program is called
"God & Gays" hosted by Lisa Ling (an episode
of "Our America" actually,) and it debuts tonight at
10 P.M. EST. (Not to be confused with the 2006
documentary of a similar name, "God and Gays;
Bridging the Gap.")

The focus of the piece is Alan Chambers (infamous
leader of the organization "Exodus International"--see
my other blog post for more news there) and their
controversial and harmful 'reparative therapy' practices
that have destroyed millions of lives.

For a sneak peek and more info click here;


Monday, June 10, 2013

"Oops...WE Did It Again!"

Edward Snowden, former NSA contractor, whistle blower
 Supposedly, 'Flaming Lips Sink Ships.'
Do not tell a sissy your secrets, people!

Power to the people;
Free Bradley Manning and
keep Edward Snowden free!

Britney says: "Girllll, you stole my thang!"

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Watch out for that kickback.

Can you say
"That's some muthah-fucking
overkill, muthah-fucker!" ?

Y'all step back and keep your
divisive, 18th century, pseudo-religious,
immoral, anxiety-ridden, reactionary,
intrusive, anti-gay, crazy-ass horseshit
OUT of my house, my job, my
relationship, my kid's groups, and
everything else...'fore I bust a
cap up in this Daddy-fucker.

Backlash is a bitch and a half!


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Superficial is as Far as We Need to Go

We have lost our sense of curiosity in this country.
Not the 'oops, there goes the basement' or 'I wonder what
I'll tell the wife about last night' brand of curiosity, but
rather the style of asking questions.
We take things at face value, and have ceased to endeavor
to discover what is under the surface. But I have questions...
so many, many questions that come to mind.

Like, what would make all these grown men and women
(and some especially grown ones) dedicate their lives to
criminalizing and demonizing homosexual men and women?

Why do these people imagine they are in any way linked to
a divine being when they exhibit all this rage and intolerance
and pride and self-importance?

What makes homosexuals the brunt of their focus?

What are they hiding in their heads, their hearts, their secret
recesses, their pasts? Their closets?
(Cuz the Bible I read told folks to get their own shit
in order, not to go looking for trouble elsewhere.)

Of all the things in all the world to divert their energies and
affections into, why us? Why not feeding the poor? Or clothing
the cold? Or healing the sick? Cuz I don't recall 'Berate the
lovers of the same sex' as part of the Beatitudes.

It's just curious to me. And, yes, curious as in 'I wonder what
it would feel like to get naked with another man?' curious.

What's beneath the surface?

I think we need to turn upside down the private lives of those
who would crucify us. It's just a question of justice.


Friday, May 24, 2013

Good for the Goose

Isn't is special....

that when I'm/we're getting dumped on, pissed on, shit on,
run over, disregarded, maligned, discarded, stepped on,
betrayed, ostracized, bullied, and so forth...

there's not a single worry or concern, no flag raised from
any quarter or corner by 'upstanding,' 'moral' citizenry that
cares so deeply for the welfare of their fellow man.

But, when I get fed up and become as tough and hardened
as the assholes who are out to destroy me, all of a sudden
my use of the same methods they used to denigrate and offend are
inappropriate, off-limits, distasteful, unacceptable, and cruel?

Thus, the insidiousness of having a second-class division (even
if only in the mentally-recessed minds of those who believe in
a separation between 'them' and 'us') is made crystal clear.
When there's indoctrination as to the idea of lessened worth of certain
others, the actions of discrimination don't take anyone by surprise.

And the need to ignore their double-standards and learn to
defend ourselves from them at all costs is underscored with
great prejudice.

Stand Up

Speak Out.

Demand Your Share.

And to Hell with those who want to shame and bully you into
'proper' actions. "Sitting back and taking it" is no longer on the

I don't know what leader they think they're following,
feeling justified in attempting to make our lives
harder, but I'll tell you it really is--

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Truth Comes Out, Along with 'Ex-Gays'

John Paulk finally renounces his renounced gay past
You say "ex-gay" and all I hear is
(as in "Super-Fag-Still-Likes-His-Dick-Licks,


"What department store men's room will I haunt today?"

Stop a hailstorm! Reshape Reality! Choose who lives
and who dies! Or just swap out which sex gets you hard!
The Power of Insanity and Wishful Thinking!


Friday, April 19, 2013

And if you can't abide,
step yo' ass aside!

-Georgia Unity

Monday, April 8, 2013

You may not be a gym bunny,
you may not be flush with cash,
you may not feel fabulous day and night...
(that last one I can pretty much guarantee!)

You may have emotional hiccups
and unfounded doubts, embarrassing wardrobe
malfunctions, crews that desert you at the last minute,
and a complete lack of confidence.

But whatever you do, however you feel,
whoever you are, and whatever your desire:

for all to see.

Regardless of 'success' or 'failure,'
being true to oneself is the only way to live!


Friday, April 5, 2013

The Boy Scouts: I've Got More Honor, Pride, and Morality in My Little Finger

Ummm...'Not gay'?!?!
 The Boy Scouts: I've Got More Honor, Pride, and Morality in
My Little Finger....(and I know a lot of Scouts, Scout Masters,
and Fathers of Scouts who would enjoy feeling the joys of that
digit strategically placed!)

**********Not Your Daddy's Gay Pride**********
I think the new nickname for the Boy Scouts of America should
change from "Scouts" to "B.S.," because that's just what they're
full of.

And I'm sick to death of all these prissy, pissy apologists talking
shit about "Well, the Scouts have a lot of great stuff to offer kids,
so one issue isn't worth getting upset over!" Really, Uncle Tom

Treating an entire (huge) group of people (do you know how
disproportionately high the number of scouts that are gay is!?!?)
as second class citizens, instilling in them the notion that hiding
who they are and suppressing their true self is the way to get
treated well and included, and spreading/enhancing myths
that create a divide in gay and lesbian people's lives...making
them feel unloved, unwanted, unimportant.

Gay depression, dysfunction, and suicidology doesn't just
whip itself up in a vacuum; it is produced through constant
alienation and abuse. To have an organization with the history,
the pull, and the austerity of the Boy Scouts take a formal
position on homosexuals--of all ages--and flatly tell them;
-You do not belong here
-We do not want you here
-You are separate from us
-We don't believe that you're capable of the virtues we say we represent

Forget the blatant hypocrisy and contradictory nature of being a club designed to help foster better, more moral, honorable,
upstanding citizens; it's a continuation of misinformation and bias.

What a great basis for good solid, all-American values (well, the
real and shattered America, yes, but not the fake wonderful
American ideal we all pretend exists.)

See, the tacit understanding is that homosexuals have some-
thing wrong with them; that we are wrong. That we are sexually
unbound demons who can't be trusted either around those our
own age or those in our care. It's more of this ignorant,
prejudicial, gay-panic bullshit that I think is mostly pretended
for the sake of denying us access to places, not because
people are still ignorant enough to actually link homosexuality
with pedophilia (which has been proven time and again to be
invalid, ) but because they're uncomfortable with their own sexuality.

No, the Boy Scouts caved to pressure from the Reich once more, for if they were questioning lifting the ban then they
had reason to doubt that it is either Constitutional or moral.
So much for being judged on the merit of individual character.

Ascribing a character trait to an entire group of people is
beyond unseemly, and it certainly does undermine 'all the
other good' that the Scouts may do. Because as long as
some of us are unequal, baby...all of us are unequal.


Friday, March 29, 2013

"Girl You Know It's True...."

If the 'Son of God' were to
make a magical appearance
in these modern times,
you SO know he would be
a left-leaning Marxist
hustled-out Hollywood actor
with a sashay-shante' Fabulous
Gay Glow!

You GO Boy!


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Talking To Idiots 101: "Marriage Equality"

Einstein's descendants make their mark. More like a smear.

Well, it's time for another frightening round of 
ignorant questions and thoughtful-educated-answers-

After all, the morons know their 'basis' for discrimination is
ludicrous; you strip it all away and you'll get a rousing, child-like

(Damn me and others like me for boiling it
down to brass tax, dispersing the smoke and mirrors!)

Another Ditto-head heard from, as obviously all of "Yahweh's" laws
are undisputed and held in highest accord!

1: Q: So, why's come you gay guys and lesbians wants to get
married? What's the big deal?

A: Exactly. If it's not a big deal, then
why is it a big deal?

2: Q: This is a slippery slope--Next thing you'll be saying it
should be legal for bigamy and marrying kids.

A: No, it's all about legal adults and legitimate relationships,
consenting folks...not coercion.
Are you aware of how many heterosexuals marry
underage children in the U.S. every year, though?

3: Q: Gay people are trying to make me believe something
that goes against my religion! That's discrimination!

A: Let's first determine that one statement has nothing
to do with the other; it's an illogical train of though,
and moot since both statements are fact.

What's desired is progression, and progress goes according
to societal standards, not simply one group's notion.
Similarly, the Constitution and Bill of Rights are set up
to protect society on whole from the 'tyrrany of the majority.'

If passed, marriage equality will require that people
comply with the law. And already existing laws will hopefully
guarantee that discrimination against us homosexuals
 is prevented as we exercise our freedom to marry.

Things can exist in the world without your giving
explicit approval, or changing your lifestyle.

(Back with more educating of the unwashed
and ignorant soon!)


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

This is Where You Belong

This blog is for all the young (and middle-aged, and older) men and women
I see who are too scared to approach me in the streets to ask for support
or advice....who are living invisibly amongst the rest.

For the people who can't even fathom mentioning the truth of their bodies
and souls aloud for fear that someone will hear, or that it will make it real.

It's for all the people who feel cursed because small town living is all they
know and all they ever expect to know in their lifetime.

For all the people ruined by crazed religious fanatics who taught hellfire and
hate instead of self-love and acceptance.

It's for all the people who live in places, like the place I live, where people
seem to prefer dead closet cases over living, loving, whole people.

So, for those of you who may never be banner-wavers or pride-marchers
or even openly gay or bi or lesbian-identified.....for those of you who simply
need to know that you are not alone in the world, that you are okay exactly
as you are, and there is nothing wrong with you that in any way needs to be
changed....this blog is for you.

May you know and accept just one iota of how special and perfect you are,
as you learn to reject the untruths and pain dispensed to you by those who
know so very little.

Peace and love, my brothers and sisters...this is the place we can connect;
you are home.