Some Battles..but Not the War

Keep looking to the mountain top;

There's no telling how many times we may

have to replant that flag!

Keep on keeping on...

we deserve better than they would

choose to allow us to have.

***

A Word of Advice for Holiday (Coming) Outings

I know that for those of us newly having come to terms with

our sexuality and identity, there can be a transformative

sense of elation and freedom...and also a desire to

share with others, since we have been

burdened with isolation for so long.

Considering this, the holidays can seem like

the perfect time to spring the news on friends

and family, while everyone is in one place and

moods are (at least in pretense and theory) high.

But I would caution folks from doing this, despite the

popularity of the action, without giving ample

thought, time, and consideration to it first.

The euphoria we feel when newly out (even if

only to ourselves) can affect our judgment on

these rather large life-decisions.

Now, the most specific target audience I am

addressing is the youth; anyone still living at home

and emotionally (and particularly financially)

vulnerable. Or, anyone of any age whose living

arrangements or physical well being are tied up

in another's good graces.

The predominant desire--at any age--is that you will

let the family member or friend whom you care about in

on the good feelings so that they too can experience them.

But there is no telling what the response will be,

and the numbers of teens who are kicked out on the street

every year for announcing being gay or lesbian (or for

that matter, questioning) is astronomical.

I don't say this lightly to produce fear; simply to be

the voice of reason and considerate deliberation.

(When I came out to my parents as a young teen,

my father raged and physically threatened me, called

the sheriff to remove me from the home, and screamed

like a madman. I escaped to my 'liberal cool' aunt's house,

where she turned me away as well. You just don't know, and

your safety isn't worth taking chances with.)

If the whole 'being out' thing is new to you,

you should try telling one or two close people

first, in a safe and intimate environment.

The euphoria of being in this new place can warp

your perceptions about whether things are really a good

idea or not. Feelings can lead your mind to think what it

wants, rather than what's realistic. Therefore, even though I

am personally balls out, I suggest others feel out the situation

and circumstances before they potentially put themselves in a

bad situation.

Think it through, be calm, consider it carefully,

get the advice of a great friend or counselor

or even someone else who has gone through the coming

out process. It isn't a race, and if telling people is

a good idea now, it'll still be a good idea later.

Don't rush. You have to consider the big picture.

(Conversely, you can't undo it once done, so...)

On the opposite end of things; if you're feeling

depressed and isolated because you are not

handling your sexuality and your feelings well,

please know that you don't have to go through it

alone. Many of us went through very dark days

on the road to loving yourself; this world is harsh.

But there are places to help, and people who care.

And most certainly you should avoid folks who

make you feel badly about yourself. You deserve better.

There's more to our lives than sex, there's more

to our world than disapproving people. Break out

of the bonds of fear and repression, and just

be free! It's a work in progress...but it is worth it!

For more info, support, and stories

of others, check out

www.hrc.org/ComingOut

www.gaylife.about.com/od/comingout/a/Coming-Out.htm

www.ExperienceProject.com

***

"Christopher And His Kind" (full film)

I love a good biopic, and seeing the history of gays and lesbians through the
eyes of someone who came up (and out) in another time is truly revelatory.

And hey--you can't knock homoerotic scenes of young men wrestling and
fooling around!

Doctor Who fans rejoice!

*****************************************************

"Soldier's Girl" full movie

Here's a little "Happy 'Keeping-it-Real' Veteran's Day" for y'all!
Depressing as hell--and infuriating--but worth seeing.

This sobering tale was put out by Showtime in 2003, and tells the
true story of a murder of an army private due to his sexuality.

Remember that this was done in the years that DADT and DOMA
were front burner shitstorms and when Bushie was stirring the
homophobia pot in order to steal another election.

In English with subtitles.

***************************************************

The Gayest Show on TV

It's the greatest--and gayest--show on television

that you probably aren't even watching.

While it's come back from the brink a few times

and survived hiatuses and changes in schedule,

"Happy Endings" on ABC is finally (hopefully)

catching on and getting its audience.

Rightfully so: with one regular main cast member who's

gay (and a steady string of boyfriends leading up to

current 'long-termer'--Kyle Chandler!!) it also

is one of the sharpest, wittiest, most fast-paced and

zinger-filled comedies I've seen.

Check it out...tell your friends...support the show...

tell ABC you love it. There's nothing keeping

gay-friendly (and good) shows on the air except positive

 feedback and ratings.

(Here's what you need to know before watching the show, below;

six friends, they all crazy, they all sex-crazed, it's over the top!)

"Happy Endings" full episode: "Cocktails & Dreams"

***

"Gay And Voting For Mitt Romney?"