Saturday, February 19, 2011


It's probably the most common response.

"WHY would you choose to put a bunch of
stickers on your vehicle?"

Visibility brings recognition, which brings
thought, which brings dialogue. Hopefully
then there can be understanding, compassion
and acceptance.

But, I also saw a need to reach out to the
largest segment of the gay and lesbian
population; closeted middle America.

Most gay men and women are not on the
streets protesting and being outspoken.
The vast majority live very quiet lives,
keeping to themselves and some never
even acting on their desires.

They have spouses and families and are
terrified of someone finding out about
who they are on the inside. The old
numbers of gays being about 10% of the
population were very conservative
estimates, in my book.

People attracted to the same sex are in
every family, every town, every state.

Every race, every age, every economic
status. Every political party (as these
last months have shown) and every religion.

Sexuality has nothing to do with spirituality
or drugs or mental illness, as some myths
have promoted (and are still strong in
small towns like Donalsonville.)

If people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual,
questioning, confused, trans, queer feel
that they are the only one who feels the
way that they do, they are likely to
suffer from depression, loneliness, and
isolation. People need to feel connected.
They need to know that someone else
understands what they feel and who they

There is not one particular way to live.

If your sexuality is 'different' from what
the mainstream calls normal, you can live
any kind of life you want.

Many men could not exist without the
stability and love of their homes they have
built. They may choose not to act on their
emotions or desires, but having someone to
relate to their feelings is crucial to good
mental health. Knowing they are not alone
is a powerful medicine.

You can live as a gay couple but keep to
yourself. You can live as a single man and
drive to the big city to find companionship.

There are those who live double lives.
Some are flamboyant, some are butch, some
are just regular folks. There isn't a litmus
test for determining.

The point is not "How to figure out who's gay
and who isn't?" The point is "Why does
everybody feel the need to be up in everyone
else's business?"

So, confusing as it may be, I push the
envelope so that the idea of people's normal
expressions of sexuality are less threatening.

The more people know, the less they fear (in time.)

Having someone live outside the lines gives
a little more leeway to everyone else. If the
boundaries are pushed, minds expand. The
crazy emotions and animosity is right there, under
the surface anyway.

I'm not necessarily looking to be understood.

I'm just filling the role God gave me.
Like Dr. King said..."Men fear what they do not

I refuse to keep the silence... or my designated
seat at the back of the bus.

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