On the Prowl

So I was at the local Super-Store and it was jam-packed full
of manly goodness, so I was scoping the guys out. (Not in a
bad way; although if I ever do get Dominic Purcell in my cross hairs,
I just may shoot him...with a tranq gun!)

I understand why so many men keep it strictly sexual. In those
early, uncomplicated, "please-don't-talk-too-much" hot-and-heavy
encounters, it's just the primal animal act. The musk, the lust, the
bodies letting fly. Once we start to get to know someone, it's all
downhill from there.

I know, for instance, that I can never date any of the following ever
again; conservatives, Republicans, evangelicals, Christians, fanatics,
yuppies/preppies, guys with OCD, guys too tightly wound, emotionally
closed down guys, closeted guys, or smokers.

(Fortunately for me, except for the smoking, all those other traits tend
to belong to the same folks, but it seems to be a high percentage of
the gay populace--or rather, the openly gay populace.)

I just can't stand someone who's anal-retentive, obsessed with looks and
control, hung up on issues with religion, and so forth. Been there, done
that, paid the dues and didn't even get a damned tee-shirt.

All I really want is a blue collar guy; a regular old guy who's laid back
and pretty easy going. That's what seems to temper well with my whacked
out personality. Yet, here in the deep south, those folks are adverse to
being seen with the likes of me, so that gets nixed pretty quickly.

I also don't do 'finesse' or charm or bullshitting well (I am what I am)
and that seems to wreak havoc on potential dates too. Evidently you're
'supposed' to put on a good front, and then ease into the rest later.
Why? If I like someone, and intend for them to stick around, they're
going to find out the real deal sooner or later. Why would I invest
time and energy only to have them reject me later.

If folks don't know I'm a goldmine, that's their shortsightedness and
misfortune. I'm a pip and a holler....and I work what I got. Some folks
just can't appreciate that.

 But back to the eye candy at the store! There were some really fine
beefy burritos of all shapes and sizes, all ages and races, and in every
kind of revealing outfit imaginable. But after I lusted momentarily, I
thought; "meh. Probably a (fill in the blank.)"

I'm just so jaded I can't even enjoy cruising in peace anymore.

This week I saw a hot guy and was beside myself. I found out his e-mail
and sent a message as to how hot I found him. I scared him off. But
direct is how I work, and I guess, really, I don't want to change. Sooner
or later I'll find someone that responds to it...I hope.

But as a dear friend taught me, you can spend the night (or weeks,
or months) pining for someone and remain unaware that they are not
attracted to you, or you can cut to the chase, ask unapologetically,
"You wanna fuck?" and save everyone a whole lot of time and heartache.

After all, if it's not going to work out, shouldn't you be expending energy
on the next potential candidate?

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